Cricket’s corruption scandal took a sensational new twist last night, after it was alleged that two radio pundits conspired to ‘fix’ a passage of radio commentary.
Following yesterday’s guilty plea by former Essex player Mervyn Westfield to charges of match-tampering, the focus has now shifted to Test Match Special‘s Jonathan Agnew and Geoffrey Boycott.
Investigators have turned their attention to what’s described as a “suspicious” passage of commentary shortly after lunch on the second day of last summer’s England v India test at Edgbaston.
It’s suggested that Mr Boycott deliberately used a series of cliches and catchphrases to fit a pre-ordained pattern. They are believed to include “corridor of uncertainty”, “stick of rhubarb” and “he couldn’t get my mum out”.
Mr Agnew is also implicated by the claim that he purposefully asked his partner a series of leading questions, designed as an excuse for Boycott to provide the above responses.
“Every commentator uses a cliche from time to time, and there’s nothing suspicious about that”, a source told The Full Toss. “But on that occasion Boycott must have used about nineteen of his catch-phrases within the space of three overs”.
“Some of them were huge – way beyond what you’d expect in the normal passage of play. There’s little doubt that something funny was going on”.
Officials suspect that the two broadcasters accepted payment from bookmakers for their comments, in the form of a home-made Dundee cake, two slices of cherry Bakewell tart, and a tin of brandy snaps.
Attention will likely focus on Mr Boycott’s bakery accounts. “What’s striking is that he lives only on a modest salary from the BBC, but he never goes short of cakes and confectionery”, our source continued. “You rarely see him without a generous serving of Battenburg in his hand. The question has to be – just where is it all coming from?”
Illegal betting on cricket commentary in the Asian sub-continent is thought to involve vast sums. Last year alone, an estimated US$25 billion’s worth of Jaffa Cakes, $40 billion in jam tarts and a similar value of Mr Kipling French Fancies were staked on pundits’ banter and similes.
Neither Boycott nor Agnew were last night available for comment. But this isn’t the first time that the issue of alleged commentary corruption has come under the spotlight. In 2003, Mark Nicholas narrowly escaped a ban after accepting two gallons of hairspray and a mirror in return for saying “Glenn McGrath!”, “cream-cracker of an off-drive” and “the Little Master” 47 times in the course of two overs.
Maxie Allen
Excellent!!