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Day 3 *** I see no need to write a day 3 report. We all saw it coming and we’ve been through the reasons why a million times before. I’m just going to ignore the cricket and try to enjoy my weekend. I suggest everyone does the same. Feel free to vent in the comments below if you think it will help. Personally I’m done with this bullshit *** Day Two If you saw the above headline...

Perth Day One


We haven’t had much opportunity to crow thus far on this tour so let’s indulge ourselves. Dawid Malan you absolute beauty! That was one hell of an impressive knock. He looked more and more composed as the day went on, and I think we’ve finally found ourselves a batsman. He came to crease with England in a spot of bother and coped with the pressure remarkably well. It beggars...

It’s Time for Cook, Anderson and Broad to Prove It


My thesis today is a simple one. I’m not going to beat around the Australian bush. The time for understatement and pretty language has long since passed. England are losing the Ashes 0-2. The series could be gone within the next three to five days. And a big reason for this is that our big names haven’t come to the party yet. In fact, the only party they’ve been to ended up with drinks being...

My Winter Escape


Today we have an article by new guest writer Lee Payne. If, like me, you love watching England during the long winter nights, you might rather enjoy this … although I’m not expecting too much joy at Perth!  I haven’t been abroad for almost a decade. In fact, my passport expired four years ago. However, in the last few winters I’ve been to Cape Town, Mumbai and Adelaide. Early in the...

Let’s Pour Cold Water Over This Duckett Farce


If only Jimmy Anderson could duck it. Then we wouldn’t have to talk about Duckett. I make no apologies for the awful joke. This whole tour is rapidly becoming a bad joke. And I’m not referring to the behaviour of the England players – which seems pretty much in line with behaviour on previous tours – I’m referring to the ridiculous overreaction of the ECB every time an England player...

A First Class Cock-Up


There’s no doubt that the sidelining of the county championship is playing a big part in England’s latest Ashes debacle. As I mentioned after Adelaide, my team Worcs will only have two championship clashes at New Road between early May and September next year. And when the new city T20 begins in 2020, things are likely to get worse. With the prospect of no championship cricket at all...

England’s Ashes Campaign: The Lamentable Truth


If Australia had ever lost 0-5 in England there would’ve been uproar from Perth to Port Macquarie and from Darwin to Devonport. It would have been a national humiliation – the nadir of Australian sporting history. And they would’ve made sure that it never, ever, happened again. If only the ECB cared about the Ashes as much. We’ve been beaten 0-5 twice in the space of eight...

A Plea To Joe Root, Our (Potential) Saviour


Oh Joe. What have you done? You’ve only gone and given us hope. You should know better than encouraging us. Now we all have to put up with blog posts like this one, which naively assume England are going to get close on day five … when in reality we’re going to lose our last six wickets in a flurry half an hour before lunch. At least we’ll have the memories though: the...



Day Three Oh what could have been. England’s bowlers finally turned up on the third evening and proved what we knew all along: Australia’s batting is weak and contains several flawed batsmen. What a pity our own flawed batsmen had already effectively lost the game. Although we might take a little heart from reducing the Aussies to 53-4, and some pundits are talking about momentum...

One Watch Down. And Now My Next Watch Begins.


One-nil down. Where do you go from there? If you happen to be the England cricket team in Australia, usually only further down. All the way, crashing through the basement into the hard earth beneath. For a short while, much like with the England Football team before a major tournament, I allowed myself to believe. Australia are not all that I thought. We were showing blemishes of form and...

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