Open the champagne, let off the party poppers, and let the celebrations begin. The CB series is finally over. After a tortuous programme of one-dayers, which seems to have gone on longer than the Ashes – with England losing 18-1 or something like that – this interminable Australia tour has now, thank heavens, breathed its last.
So what have we learned?
1. England supporters don’t care about ODIs And that’s not just because we were pumped. How many of us woke up during this series and didn’t even realise a match was on till we saw the result at lunchtime? Compare the apathy of the last three weeks with the intensely frazzled emotions of the Ashes?
2. Three one-dayers is enough What do you learn from seven matches which you can’t from a handful? How can there be energy or drama when it feels like Groundhog Day – or even worse, a chore.
3. We will never be much good at this format Even with a superb coach, a talented squad, and all the psychological advantage attained during the Ashes, we still looked crap. Let’s just accept that and stick to tests and T20.
4. The World Cup could be a car crash But then, it usually is for us. See above. The batsmen are knackered. Strauss is on the verge of collapse. Everyone’s injured. And how much time do they have to rest at home before flying out to Asia? Three days.
5. Jonathan Trott is even more important than we realised As Bill Lawry might say, he’s a hero. We’re going to stick our necks out here and make a prediction: by the time Trott retires, he will be an England legend.
6. No-one will remember these matches Yes, the drubbing we received is a miserable anti-climax. But when we prepare for the first test against against Australia in the summer of 2013, what will people be talking about? A meaningless one day contest, or the events at Adelaide, Melbourne and Sydney in 2010-11?
Maxie Allen
The best news for our boys is that they won’t have to go to Number Ten to pose with our Coalition Leader, Dodgy David Cameron. In the same way Dodgy Dave disappeared after the World Cup Fiasco he will avoid the returning Ashes Heroes and One Day Disasters. Perhaps he will suggest that the Big Society takes over selection for future one day series but apart from that Dave will see no advantage for entertaining the team. Justy as well as in the build up to the World Cup our boys should avoid associating with a no-hoper.
I think you might be looking for the Guardian’s website, Bill. ;)
Agreed on points 1 to 6, err that’ll be all of them then! I wish I could disagree with 1 & 3 but… No.
To be honest this CB series has been like some of the previous ODI triangular series in Australia. We’ve just been beaten by the second string, but to save our blushes they’ve called it the first team.