We’ve all got mates who dislike cricket (or don’t understand it). I happened to be with one yesterday evening when the fifth test finally got interesting. At one point, I think I was converting him. “This is pretty tense” he said, “I can see why this Pietersen bloke gets so much attention”. And then, just at the point when he’d moved from a slouched position to the very edge of his seat, Aleem Dar called for his light-meter. The rest, you can probably guess. “This is exactly why I hate cricket”...
Settee: The Search For Extratesttrivial Irreverence. part four of five
Pre 4th Test, the big shock for me was not the selection of Tickly Tummy Jackson Bird over Scattergun Roadrunner Mitchell Starc. No, I was more surprised when Ten-Nil Botham’s pitch-side blah blah was notpunctuated by showers of lead-shot, wrapped in tear-sodden betting slips. Sky Ashes lead-ups also include Master Class insights which are invaluable to dozy barstanders like myself. The contribution from recently house-trained Kevin Pietersen was a lot more thoughtful and hygienic than...
The Big Bluff? Third Test Preview
Andy Flower is no longer Andy Flower. He’s Agent Flower; working on Her Majesty’s very secretive service. Ever since the Lord’s test finished, England have been playing mind-games with the Aussies. What will the Old Trafford pitch be like? Will it be as dry as Richie Benaud’s favourite muscadet? Will England play two spinners? As a result, Michael Clarke’s canary yellows seem to be desperate to play two spinners themselves – even though we keep hearing that their strength is fast bowling. How...
Settee: The Search for Extratesttrivia Life
How have you coped without live Ashes cricket for nine long days? Did you return to your normal daily routines, watch the endless re-runs of ‘England’s best days’ on Sky, or hibernate for a week – recharging your batteries for another emotional roller coaster? At TFT we’ve been tracking down fresh writing talent; looking for like-minded cricket fans keen to share their musings. As a result we’ve unearthed this fella, who goes by the name Paul Grin Hopi. We...
Clucking Bell – day one at Lord’s
England 289-7. Stumps. I have a conundrum for you: if England have so many world class batsmen, why can’t they put decent first innings totals on the board? This has been a big problem for a while now; it stretches back to last summer. Perhaps it’s because Cook, Trott, Pietersen, Bell and Prior are unlucky? Or maybe they simple aren’t as good – and by good I mean consistent and ruthless – as everyone thinks they are. When was the last the big guns fired at the same time? Yesterday was an...
The Gatorade Guzzlers have landed – a view from down under
The irrelevance that was the England versus New Zealand test series has mercifully finished. Now the ICC Champions Trophy is upon us – another sideshow that sits uneasily in the interregnum before the Ashes: the 10 act drama that shall fashion greatness or infamy, where every reputation is wagered and nothing held back. England’s victory over the hapless Kiwis at Headingley told us nothing we do not already know. The two R’s, Root ‘the local County luminary who walks on...
