In what was surely the only relevant and meaningful game of the protracted CB series thus far ;-) England beat the Parrott Greens by 21 runs in Adelaide today. It was a much better performance all round – hell, it couldn’t have been any worse than the last three. Jonathan Trott was the hero with a typically stodgy but effective knock of 102 from 126 balls. Surprisingly he also chipped in with the ball, taking 2-31 in seven priceless overs of medium-slow trundle. He’s a funny bowler Trott. He...
England Physios in Burnout Scare
Speculation is mounting that Ben Langley, England’s new physiotherapist, is struggling with acute fatigue syndrome. The news comes as the squad’s injury list is mounting by the second. Since you’ve started reading this, Ajmal Shahzad has strained his jaw from sledging and Michael Yardy has sprained his wrist playing (bowling?) darts. The camp is also struggling with illness. Our number three batsman has got the Trotts and Jimmy Anderson has gone down with DVT (probably). Langley should be used...
England pair scoop honours
Quick on the heels of their Ashes success, there was more silverware for the England team this weekend – when two of their top batsmen claimed the prize for Best Run Out at the British Comedy Awards. Andrew Strauss and Jonathan Trott triumphed after making a sensational late bid for the gong – with their acclaimed slapstick routine at the Sydney Cricket Ground on Sunday. “The judges commended their superb comic timing and the feat of achieving total farce out of...
Call off the CB series now!
Just like picking one’s nose or belching in public, losing to Australia is not a habit we want to get into. However, after another lamentable batting performance today, we’ve now lost four in a row. The only saving grace is that both teams have got so many injuries – thanks mainly to a ridiculous workload that seems more suited to a Siberian concentration camp than a cricket tournament – that the series has become something of a farce. England don’t want to be there (when asked about the...
The 2nd ODI – When Morgan fails, England fail
We thought we were making progress in ODIs but we’re not so sure now. The opening partnership looks wrong (having failed numerous times in the past), Trott looks too one paced at number three, Yardy isn’t convincing at number seven, and we’re missing an inform Paul Collingwood to lift the side with bat and ball. The inconvenient truth is this: we are almost totally reliant on Eoin Morgan. Once the Irishman gets out, hope usually goes down the toilet. We’ve lost three matches in a row now. Ok...
Weigh in again, Sam
Tubby or not tubby, fat is the question for Samit Patel – and Andy Flower obviously thinks it’s the former. After being named in the preliminary squad for the World Cup, Patel had a real chance of making the final fifteen. However, Flower revealed yesterday that the Nottinghamshire all-rounder was discounted because his waistline has expanded to Mike Gatting proportions – despite the fact that the England management had specifically asked him to get fit. It’s not the first time this has...
