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Anybody fancy playing Bangladesh again?

Didn’t think so. Jimmy Anderson doesn’t look too keen either. Perhaps that’s why Kevin Pietersen has got injured again? Maybe his thigh strain is actually a dislocated jaw – from yawning so much. The England squad must be bored senseless at the prospect of yet another pointless series against the whipping boys of international cricket. But who are we to question the wisdom of the ECB? Compared to the Football Association they’re absolute geniuses.

Time to ruffle a few canary yellow feathers

If England beat Australia in the one-day series that starts at the Rose Bowl today, we’ll find ourselves in the delicious position of having beaten the Aussies in our most recent meetings in all three forms of the game. When did that last happen? Not since Scott Robinson first laid eyes on Charlene Mitchell I wager (that’s a Kylie and Jason reference by the way). Therefore, beating the canary yellow army in this curiously scheduled series is actually pretty important. We need to keep the...

How about this for a finish?

From the North Atlantic comes news of a remarkable match in the World Cricket League. Many thanks to Jack Waley-Cohen for sending it in. We’ve not been able to track down who wrote this – so if it’s you, let us know. The best match of the week was not played in Manchester, Port-of-Spain, or Bulawayo, but in Pembroke, Bermuda, at the Western Stars Sports Club. The Bahamas were taking on Argentina in division one of the World Cricket League’s Americas region. Argentina...

Your verdict: five bowlers, not four…and the ODI overload

Thanks to all of you who voted in our recent poll about the composition of the England test side. Around 70% of you voted for five bowlers, five batsmen – while the remaining 30% would prefer the current line-up of four bowlers with six batsmen. The debate will continue, and alongside the promising performances of Steven Finn and Ajmal Shahzad against Bangladesh, there’s some interesting food for thought over the medium-term direction of the England side. Pity then, that we have no...

Why vuvuzelas are worse than conches

A poll on Sky Sports news says 75% of viewers want to ban vuvuzelas from the football World Cup. Amen to that! Vuvuzelas are those hideous horns which the South African crowds blow ad nauseam – thus irritating anybody with half a brain (and football fans). It’s not that we’ve got anything against indigenous instruments and cultures in general. West Indian crowds have long blown conch shells throughout five days of a test match. However, somehow conch shells aren’t annoying. They add to the...

England’s worst ever test XI

Brace yourself. The following England team is a collection of the not-so-good, the bad, and in the case of Martin McCague, the ugly. It’s a compilation of misfits, one-cap-wonders, has-beens, and honest county pros that should never have played for England. In fact, you’ll barely remember some of them. So let’s take a trip down memory lane, and thank Misters Illingworth, Graveney, Miller, and Ted ‘that Martin McCaddick is a good bowler’ Dexter for giving us a few laughs over the years. 1. Tim...

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