What’s in their stockings?

Last year our festive dreams came true when England retained the Ashes at the MCG. This year, we’ve got nothing left to ask for – except perhaps the stamina to make it through to midnight on Christmas day; it’s always a struggle to stay up for the initial skirmishes from the Boxing Day test (especially after eating our own body weight in turkey and drinking half a pint of Drambuie).

But what about the players who have given us so much to talk about this year – what have they asked Santa for? Our spies in the North Pole have given us the following inside information …

The Sri Lankan team: Want some form of victory; failing that, a pay cheque.

Sachin Tendulkar:  Twenty five outside edges that go to the third man boundary (might be the only way he’ll get another ton)

Andrew Strauss: A year’s supply of Regaine (sorry skip)

Shakib Al-Hassan:  Ten new teammates

Shane Warne: A pair of oven mitts seems to be in order

Pat Cummins: A pair of crutches, a pack of bandages, and the number of Shaun Tait’s surgeon … he’s going to need them during his career

Lalit Modi: Some mates

Ricky Ponting: Santa has come up empty. Despite his best efforts, he can’t buy Punter a run either

Saeed Ajmal: One of those cricket shirts with the sleeves cut off just below the elbow

Stuart Broad: A DVD of Adam Sandler’s Anger Management

Phil Hughes: The baby of Australian cricket will be hoping for something from Fisher Price’s My First Technique range

James Pattinson: An English passport. Come on, you know you want to. Don’t you miss your brother?

Graeme Swann: A chauffeur, obviously

Chris Gayle: The abolition of test cricket. May all your dreams come true mate. Not.

Salman Butt: I’m afraid the ex-Pakistan skipper won’t be getting any presents this year. He’s been a naughty boy.

James Morgan

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