Victory in Kolkata – the dissection

“Oi newbie. Don’t let me see you doing any proper warm ups before play”

India 316 & 247. England 523 & 41-3

Geoff Boycott summed it up quite nicely. India have had conditions in their favour; they’ve won three tosses in a row; they’re fired up (or should be) after losing 0-4 to England last year. Yet England are still winning this series.

India have lost two home tests in a row for the first time for twelve years. And if they don’t win the fourth test, they’ll have lost their first home series since 2004.

So what exactly is going on? The experts said England couldn’t play spin – yet we’ve scored over 400 in three consecutive innings. They said India were almost unbeatable at home. Has the world gone completely bananas?

It’s all a bit difficult to take in. Have England simply been bloody brilliant, or have India simply been as bad as that school team who got bowled out for zilch last year?

To be honest it’s a bit of both. I don’t think anybody thought England would play this well. Alastair Cook has been a revelation as captain – rediscovering the form that abandoned him last summer. Jimmy Anderson has also returned to form, whilst Swann and Panesar have out-bowled the Indian spinners.

There used to be a time when we’d think our spinners were better than India’s. There was that one famous occasion, of course, when Keith Fletcher called Anil Kumble a medium pacer who didn’t turn it; he confidently predicted that Emburey and Tufnell would spin England to victory.

After a couple of test matches, England’s frontline spinners had been savaged so severely that we picked a young Ian Salisbury, who had been flown to India to give our batsmen net practice, instead. He was the only spinner who wasn’t crouching in the corner of his hotel room, shaking his head, shivering, and chanting the words ‘Navjot Singh Sidhu’ over and over.

This time, however, England’s spinners have actually been superior. And we all know that if India’s spinners are being outclassed, the home team’s attack doesn’t really pose much of a threat.

The alarming thing for Indian fans is the manner of their team’s defeats. They’ve looked, well, unprofessional.

Zaheer Khan looks a bit like that ageing pro from your local club: the guy that used to be a class act until he had kids, didn’t have time to go to nets, and slowly put on weight (that’s what married life and home cooking will do to you). Meanwhile, Sehwag doesn’t bother warming up in his training gear; he just slaps on his whites and does a bit of catching and jogging. This doesn’t exactly set a good example for the new generation of players India are trying to blood.

The difference in approach between England and India is incredible. While the post-match presentations were going on this morning, you could see most of England’s players either warming down or practicing their skills on the outfield. And that’s after the match had finished.

India’s players were hiding in the dressing room. It’s amazing that Duncan Fletcher tolerates it. Then again, in a dressing room that’s always been controlled by senior players, what exactly can poor Duncan do? Bribe them? Ask nicely? The poor bloke is on a hiding to nothing.

There was a time, not that long ago, when England were unprofessional compared to the opposition. They were a ragtag bunch of county players who turned up for tests on the morning of the match. Once upon a time, Alan Igglesden walked into the dressing room before his debut and the captain, a certain Lord Gower, asked him who he was. How times have changed.

England deserve their success these days. Although we’ve had a difficult twelve months overall, the team has performed much better in the last ten years than it did in the 1990s. The likely reason? We’re more professional and prepared now.

India is a developing county; it’s a superpower in waiting; it’s already an economic powerhouse. The nation is modernising all the time. Perhaps it’s time for its cricket team to follow suit?

James Morgan