Too awful to watch

England 155 (43 overs). India 157-3 (28 overs)

The great thing about being a professional cricket journalist is that you get to watch England play cricket. The one great disadvantage is that you have to watch every match. You can’t just say ‘sod this I’m off to the pub’; you have to stay rooted to your seat in the press box, head in hands, eyes glazed, watching a depressing and all too predictable defeat unfold.

So yesterday was a great day to be a cricket blogger – a privileged observer who can simply say ‘this is shocking, I can’t bear to watch, I’ve got better things to do’.

Yesterday was my Dad’s 65th birthday, so I took great pleasure in turning off the television and spending time with my family. We went to watch Top Hat in London’s West End, which I have to say was a damn sight more entertaining that watching Craig Kieswetter score yet another duck, and Jade Dernbach’s spray the new ball around like he was actually trying to lose the game as quickly as possible.

Much like Andy Murray is Scottish when he loses but British when he wins, Kieswetter and Dernbach are most definitely biltong-munchers at the moment. Let’s have a bit of fun and disown them until they start producing the goods again. Being deliberately fickle is a lot more fun than watching your team lose by seven wickets with an embarrassing 22 overs left.

The downside of turning the match off, however, is that I can’t tell you too much about it. But does that really matter? I bet you didn’t watch much of the game either – unless you’re some kind of warped masochist. Some games are simply best forgotten.

And who cares about one-day cricket anyway? I love saying that when England lose. It’s got to be the best self-defence mechanism going.

James Morgan


  • Yup, that was terrible. Looking through the team, there just isn’t enough international class players in there-the two collapses highlight the lack of Trott and a keeper who can actually bat rather than just have the odd cameo. Bowling wise…Dernbach and his ‘genius’ variations which all end up as full tosses and half trackers, no matter which part of the hand they leave from, are infuriating! I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say without T20 these players would never have represented an England C team.


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