If England beat Australia in the one-day series that starts at the Rose Bowl today, we’ll find ourselves in the delicious position of having beaten the Aussies in our most recent meetings in all three forms of the game. When did that last happen? Not since Scott Robinson first laid eyes on Charlene Mitchell I wager (that’s a Kylie and Jason reference by the way).
Therefore, beating the canary yellow army in this curiously scheduled series is actually pretty important. We need to keep the momentum going. If we can beat them well in the coming weeks, we’ll have the wood over them when the Ashes start in six months time. That should mollify the Aussie Press and minimise the quad-annual pommie bashing that usually precedes an Ashes series down under.
The exact composition of the Aussie XI for this series is a bit of an unknown quantity. Ponting’s men are missing a few key players through injury – therefore we’ve concocted this guide to help you familiarise yourselves with the new faces. However, as you will see, many of the old favourites are still there. Therefore, when it comes to the likes of Clarke, we’ve simply used this guide to extract the Michael a bit.
Shane Watson: Not long ago, the Aussie selectors thought Watson was their answer to Andrew Flintoff. How wrong they were. After a succession of injuries, good old Shane hardly bowls these days – and when he does he usually disappears to all parts of the ground. Remember the T20 World Cup Final? Best stick to your batting mate.
Tim Paine (wkt): He’s Brad Haddin’s understudy, but a completely different type of batsman/keeper. Whereas Haddin usually tries to flay the bowling like Adam Gilchrist (albeit a poor man’s Adam Gilchrist), Payne is a lot more orthodox – which is the polite way of saying he’s about as exciting as Geoff Boycott and Chris Tavare combined.
Ricky Ponting (capt): The man we love to hate. Punter has mellowed a bit in his old age, which is something of a shame, as he’s now harder to dislike. However, we all remember Trent Bridge in 2005, and everybody knows he’s likely to be run out like a, sorry, by a Pratt.
Michael Clarke: Good old ‘pup’, as his mates like to call him, has been around so long now that it would be more appropriate if he was called ‘pop’. He’s still a key wicket to get though, but Aussie fans will be hoping he puts his shocking T20 form behind him.
Cameron White: He used to be a leg-spinner, but now he’s almost exclusively a batsman. Good thing too. If White the batsman ever faced White the bowler, a run rate of thirty six an over would not have been impossible.
Michael Hussey: Every Australian cricketer loves rooming with a Hussey (apologies couldn’t resist). His innings against Pakistan in the T20 was breathtaking, but can he do the same against the mighty England?
James Hopes: Whenever a bits and pieces cricketer is required, Hopes springs eternal. He’s an average bowler and an average batsman. However, although we don’t like to admit it, he can actually be pretty effective in this form of the game.
Steve Smith: Ummm. A young Aussie spinner with a fearless attitude, a mop of blonde hair and a smug grin. Where have we seen that before? Let’s hope he turns out to be nowhere near as good as the poker playing text message specialist.
Nathan Hauritz: Everyone said he was rubbish in the build up to the Ashes, but he actually turned out to be pretty useful. Therefore we’re going to use reverse psychology this time. He’s world class that Hauritz – a far better bowler than Graeme Swann. Eoin Morgan and Kevin Pietersen will definitely not destroy him.
Ryan Harris: Can you think of a single good bowler called Harris? There’s Paul (South Africa), Chris (ex-New Zealand), and Andy (ex-Gloucs, Worcs, Derbs, Leics and Notts). None of them are/were any good. We’ll reserve judgment on Ryan, but the signs aren’t exactly good for him.
Doug Bollinger: As a Worcestershire fan I can categorically say that Bollinger was the worst overseas signing we’ve ever made. He came with a huge reputation, but what we got was an odd looking left arm trundler who was comprehensively out-bowled by the likes of Kabir Ali and Matt Mason. Unfortunately however, he seems to have improved. Please insert your own champagne / fizz pun at this point (we’ve heard them all and can’t be bothered to think of a new one).
So what do you think – can we beat this ugly lot? It will probably be quite close to be honest, but we’re hopeful that England will win. After all, we’ve surely got the psychological edge after our recent victories. One thing is for certain however. Whatever happens, we’ll have a far superior kit to Ricky’s boys. Australian ‘gold’? Don’t make me laugh.
James Morgan
What about James Harris at Glamorgan?
Not bad …. a lot to prove though.
Good to see Ponting is still angry like a cross 12 year old. There was a moment towards the end of the game when he hurled the ball at the non strikers end with Bresnan easily in and no one backing up. I really wanted to see 4 over throws but sadly he hit the stumps. Seemed a strange example to set by a captain.
I was quite disappointed by the Australian bowling. There seems to be a lack aura around their players and compared unfavourably with the previous generation when Ponting could turn to a Lee, Gillespie or McGrath and the second string bowlers such as Bichel, Bracken, Kasprowicz and Clark were confident and experienced players who brought a backbone to their team. Whilst I appreciate that Australia have a number of injuries to bowlers, I don’t think any bowlers in their current squad would have played for Australia three years ago.
I thought Ryan Harris looked pretty good actually. However, I’m convinced they turn up the speed gun for limited overs matches …. 96mph? I think not.
I agree the others didn’t look up to much. Hazelwood looks far too young to be playing at international level. He looks promising, but not in the same class as a young bowler like Tim Southee for example. It must be a worry for the Aussies that they don’t have other more mature bowlers to turn to.