The subcontinental honeymoon is over.
After being on top of the world with five consecutive Test wins in Asia, Joe Root’s men were poised to threaten the invincible Indians at home. The skipper had pushed back his average above 50. His spinners were slowly gaining a foothold over conditions which didn’t treat them as an afterthought to the game of cricket. And his best all-rounder, Sir Ben Stokes, was back too – surely, he would be bowling a lot in this second Test? Driving home the advantage, you know. You aren’t one-up against the Indians at their home every day.
And yet, the second Test has brought the Englishmen down to earth with less grace than a post-broken nose Stuart Broad trying to hoick a ball over midwicket without moving his feet.
There is going to be analysis in the English media which will pin the blame on Silverwood, then Leach, then Root (“Why exactly didn’t he bowl Stokes more!?”) before finally settling on the truth which has been in front of them since the beginning. It was the pitch all along!
Yes, that’s it. The Indian cricketers had the audacity to ask the Indian curators to prepare a pitch in an Indian stadium which behaved like … an Indian pitch. A travesty, if you’re to ask the wise enough voices of the English cricketing fraternity in the days to come.
For the more ordinary fans, however, the next week is going to be a long one. And not merely in anticipation of the third Test either – a day-nighter which threatens to unleash Jimmy on the Indians with a pink ball. The common English fan must deal with the five stages of grief while coping with a truly English loss in the subcontinent –
1. Denial
During this stage, many English fans will be found in their living rooms or their bedrooms. The former placement is for those who have overdosed themselves with optimism in the aftermath of their team’s victory in the first innings. And the latter will be the more classical Briton, checking the score – then the highlights – accompanied the shrug of someone who has brought up with a much healthier serving of pessimistic premonitions since their childhood.
The scoreline is a damning one, either ways. Losing by 317 runs is not the most soothing balm to a nation in lockdown. So, the denial must begin. You’ll be found watching the highlights of Moeen Ali’s knock in the second innings sans his eventual dismissal.
“He’s on 43 off 17 balls. He might just do it, eh?”
2. Anger
You’ll eventually snap out of it, though. And not only because your spouse wakes up and enters an argument with you about the raucous volume the telly’s been switched on at. It’s to compensate for the droning Channel Four coverage, you tell her, but she’s having none of it.
It was always going to be a cricket-related fight which put an end to your marriage. But you live to survive another day. The wife is too sleepy to think about the divorce papers, so she goes back to sleep.
Reality takes time to set in during the aftermath of experiencing trauma. You’ll feel angry at the betrayal of the cricket team you’ve been clinging on to since last year’s home summer for comfort. Ben Stokes should have bowled more. You grit your teeth, but you can’t help it. What’s done is done – and what isn’t done can now never be done. That’s a life lesson right there. You’ll be too sleepy to learn from it, though.
3. Negotiation
Your young daughter will mistakenly catch a glimpse of the headlines when they arrive at your doorstep the next day.
“England’s lost, papa?”
“Umm, yes.”
“Then why didn’t you let me watch my cartoons in the evenings?”
“They might have won.”
Your partner shoots you a look from the kitchen. Neither she nor your daughter is convinced. You try your best, but you eventually find yourself entering a negotiation to regain some semblance of control over the television remote. She’s going to watch her favourite show for half an hour every day. And then, you can watch the cricket again.
Well, at least that’s one less half hour you’re going to feel the imminent dread of an English collapse ruining the rest of your evening – it’s a task best reserved for the existential crises instead.
4. Depression
“What’s the point of life?”
“Why should I be bothered by anything?”
“Is Ben Stokes injured, really?”
He isn’t. But you’ll find yourself undergoing your existential crisis simultaneously alongside the disappointment of losing in the subcontinent. All your dreams and hypothetical match-ups which made you believe England have a shot at winning this series are now gone. Along with Joe Root’s form.
No, it was just two middling innings, he is still in form. You’re being dramatic. I’ll allow it – but you need to make yourself sociable again by the time your friends come around for dinner tonight. Can’t be having that gloom written all over your face when they co … Oh wait. The lockdown. Yes. Nobody’s coming to distract you from your cricket-related angst.
I’m not helping, am I?
5. Acceptance
You’ll be alright. Eventually. It’s going to be a bittersweet moment when you realise England have always been bad in Asia. It’s just that they found themselves in the middle of some outrageously good luck which made their young team looked more matured than it actually is.
The pitch might have been unfair, but then, so is life. One must get on with it. Try to live your next few days to the fullest and not spend every waking moment worrying about whether Anderson and Broad might play together with the pink ball in the next Test match. It’s up to fate (read: the toss) and the form of Moeen Ali to decide whether the team can stage a comeback in the next game.
Wait what, Moeen’s going home? Oh Lord Jesus, Mary and Joseph – England are doomed.
Abhijato Sensarma
The brutal truth is that England could claim an advantage in only one department in this game: wicket keeping, where Ben Foakes was utterly magnificent. Both sides fielded pretty well, and India batted better and bowled massively better than England. Moeen’s selection baffled me at the time, and knowing now that it is on a one off basis it baffles me even more. I have just put up a detailed post of my own about events in India.
A good summary. That pretty much sums up my feelings too!
An Indian pitch doing what an Indian pitch does is it turning on Day Three – it isn’t the ball detonating explosions of dust on Day One. This excuse-making for India is bizarre.
England’s margin of defeat needs more emphasis. The match was gone by tea on Day One but there’s still losing with some fight and some pride. That was England’s worst defeat in India in terms of runs ever (over 50 runs worse than the previous record). Comparing defeats by runs with defeats by an innings (of which England have had five in India) is tricky. However if one subtracts India’s second innings there’s only one innings’ defeat that was worse than this one (on the last tour). It also happened with a first choice bowler out injured (probably their best bowler although that’s arguable). That’s not subsiding bravely in the face of insurmountable odds, it’s pretty abject.
BTW Sky getting the white ball series’ rights is further confirmation of where priorities now lie.
Sky have the white ball? Interesting. I really don’t understand the interest in the T20s and ODIs. Nobody cares what happens in them. Nobody will remember the series score just a few months later. Tours are always defined (and remembered) by the Test series results.
The England side in the match just gone was not by the standards of any other country young.
It contained 4 players in their 30s and only 2 (Lawrence and Pope) aged under 25. Some of the players who some people might think are young actually aren’t – Burns is 30, Leach is 29 and Stone is 27. In the case of the first two England were at fault for not picking when they were younger because they’d excelled in the CC and not on the Loughborough/Lions’ pathway. Leach should have been on the last tour of India but there was that ridiculous “chucking” claim that was suddenly discovered as an excuse not to select him.
Assuming YJB comes back for Lawrence and that Anderson will be recalled the team for the next Test will be even older (although if Crawley replaces Burns that would lower the average age).
A minor point but I think you will find England have won six consecutive Tests in Asia, 3-0 v SL, 2-0 v SL and 1-0 v India. I think the only reason that Moeen played instead of Bess was that Root has lost faith in Bess’s bowling. It is a complete mystery why Ben Stokes didn’t bowl more. He is rapidly becoming the non-bowling all rounder.
I agree with you about Bess. I don’t think Root would have batted on for so long in the first Test were he confident in his spinners.
With Archer and Anderson back in the fold and surely Bairstow after his exploits in Galle, we should present a far greater challenge to the Indian batsmen and bowlers. As Bess has gone awol I would go with class seamers and just Leach as a spinner. There’s no point picking 2 front line spinners if neither are a real threat. Bess has repeatedly failed to deliver consistency on helpful wickets during the Ashes and on the sub continent that I feel Root has lost confidence in him and will not want him playing again this series. Surely Broad has to be a better bet as he and Anderson seem to inspire each other. It’s the la adage of playing your best against the best.