TagJames Horwill

England to bat, bowl and field in helmets during the Ashes?

Following a string of what some Englishmen see as unprovoked, cynical, deplorable, and unforgivable acts of violence by Australian sportsmen on British people, rumours are spreading that the England cricket team intend to wear crash helmets throughout the entire Ashes series – and not just the batsmen. Our entirely fictional sources can reveal that England will wear helmets in the field too; indeed we have recently obtained secret footage of Jimmy Anderson practicing his bowling in a lid...


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