We received this very very serious submission via email earlier in the week. It discusses India’s test humiliation at the hand’s of Alastair Cook’s Barmy Army with intelligence, eloquence (and not a trace of sarcasm). It also prevents us from having to consider England’s abject showing in the T20 yesterday … something which will come as relief to Jade Dernbach, who seemed to be impersonating a blind muppet for most of the match. Anyway, over to you Mr James Hindle...