Apologies for the lack of warning. We should have insisted on you donning protective eyewear before loading this page. Or even better, a blindfold.
This monstrosity – this Shirt of Horror – belongs to Surrey CCC. It’s their t20 strip for 2011. And even within the dreadful pantheon of cricketing fashion disasters – and against some very stiff competition – it marks an all time low.
Where do you begin? Perhaps with the colour – an eye-wateringly dayglow green, of the shade normally associated with hi-vis safety tabards. Or maybe with the cut and shape – a tightly figure-hugging design more akin to rugby than cricket. The overall effect is Jonny Wilkinson crossed with a dustman.
Even worse, there is no collar – a fundamental omission. Collar = shirt. No collar = t-shirt or top. This is cricket. We wear shirts to play it. The lack of collar throws the garment’s entire self-definition haywire.
Finally, it’s a light green top worn with black trousers. Sadly, the inelegant mis-matching of differently-coloured shirts and trousers is common in limited overs cricket nowadays, and hardly restricted to Surrey, but even so – it hardly improves matters.
In conclusion, we submit that the above shirt ranks as the ugliest, most ill-conceived, and downright horrible match garment in world cricket today. But if you can beat that – if you’ve seen something worse – please let us know.