What can you say when you’ve just been flayed to all parts by a No.8 and No.7 batsman? Two guys who barely average 30 in test cricket. Sure they’re good players – most cricketers are talented at test level – but this wasn’t Adam Gilchrist destroying our ‘attack’. It was the captain and wicket keeper of a team that usually can’t buy a win in test cricket; a team that lost its last test (against Bangladesh) in an innings.
I don’t want to take anything away from the admirable and likeable Jason Holder. The bloke is a dude. And Dowrich is good to watch too. But yesterday’s embarrassment was really worrying. It’s a reminder, yet again, that England are completely toothless on flat pitches. It took us right back to our 0-4 defeat in Australia a year ago.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You need genuine pace and top quality spin to take wickets on lifeless surfaces. And England don’t have such a thing. All-rounders – some might say bits and pieces cricketers – get exposed. It’s quality that counts. So why England left out their best pure spinner and tallest seamer makes no sense. Leach and Broad might not have made ALL the difference but they surely would’ve had some impact, and bowled a damn sight better than Curran and Rashid.
But I’ve said all this before. We’ve all said it all before. England have had years to produce and identify some proper specialist batsmen and some quality bowlers capable of producing magic moments, but we’ve failed. Our system has failed. Our selectors have failed. And what’s more the ECB know it. But they’re happy to tolerate humiliation abroad so long as we keep winning our lion’s share of test matches on English greentops or against very weak opposition overseas. If the ECB have ambitions greater than that, then what are they doing to attain these objectives? We have to judge authorities by their actions not glib words.
With England needing the best part of 600 (!) to win this test I imagine defeat is inevitable. However, the one glimmer of hope is that this pitch now looks flatter than Colin Graves thinks the world is. Perhaps we’ll salvage some pride by making the Windies toil for their wickets? It will surely work to our advantage that the opposition don’t have a specialist spinner.
Tune in tomorrow when Keaton Jennings has made 450 not out and we’ve won by ten wickets. We live in a surreal post-fiction universe, in which bullshit is real and reality is bullshit, so why not?
James Morgan
I don’t want to waste words on England – ‘abject’ will suffice.
Jason Holder was magnificent and could well become my favourite international cricketer.
I hope that Windies complete their victory today.
You say ‘just avg 30’s’
Remind me what the following avg please
Jennings
Bairstow
Stokes
Buttler
Moeen
Curran
And yet, these are lauded as test quality.. potential.. fantastic.. world number one material.. etc etc
I think pot call kettle and duel standards are being applied.. as it happens I agree with you in the fact it’s embarassing BUT.. it’s also. Embarassing that we have Jennings opening, Bairstow at 3 and not 6, stokes at 5 not 7, buttler at 6 not 7, moeen even in the side, Curran even in the side …
So true. Looks like we have another cosy dressing room where the favourites are undroppable. Hey guys, test batsmen used to score centuries, not a useful 30 or 40
Jennings – oh dear! At least Root’s legspin looks better than Rashid’s (you all know I’m not a fan), so that frees up a space for Broad. Curran is worth persevering with.
Who is our first three? This test hasn’t really resolved anything. Burns made a decent score, but he shouldn’t really miss a straight ball from a part-time offspinner!
I agree that Leach is the best spinner in the party.
That was, in some way, much worse than the 77. How can a part time offspinner take 8 wickets? I missed the middle (Buttler, Ali, Foakes and Rashid), but all the wickets I saw were the batsmen getting themsleves out.
In the post sandpaper world where we get beaten by India at home us Aussies haven’t had much reason to feel positive about the next Ashes. Until now.
This side has never looked that good. Always looked vulnerable etc. They are a bunch of one day players with one test batsmen and broad/Anderson.
If you get your three fast bowlers firingnthen this side will be blown away
They’ve literally just proven they simply aren’t willing or able to play test cricket. They play one why and one way only.. fun ho and hope it comes off..
Burns (give him until end of SA p but must avg 37+)
Who?
Who?
Root
Buttler (until his out shot, was actually batting with a Brain. I’d say he has until the end of the ashes and must avg 40 or he’s toast )
Stokes (told to avg 37 by end of SA or he’s down to 7)
Foakes vs Bairstow.. Foakes innpossesion but needs to avg 35+ by end of this series or Bairstow comes in (he then needs to avg 40+ y the end of SA or he’s out)
Woakes
Broad
Anderson
Leech
Moeen shouod never play again unless it’s as the second spinner
Rashid should never play again
Jennings should never play again
Curran sent back to county cricket to put on 7-8mph or he never plays again. He’s competing with stokes so also needs to bat higher for Surrey and avg 40+ in county cricket
Pace bowlers, we need two more who can be front line bowlers to replace broad and Anderson.
Root talking utter tripe yet again, and all just PR rubbish.
Be honest for one
Just look at the England avg’s since jan 2018…
Foakes and buttler 40+
Root 39
The rest are 30 or less
Delighted for WI – I’d love to believe it means a renaissance but the odds are stacked against it.
A few nuggets from Paul Newman for those who won’t sully their hands with the DM:
1) Jennings’ average of 16.9 against pace is the lowest of any batsman who’s played more than 15 Tests. Ever.
2) Denly was going to bat at No.3 in SL but was so awful in the warm-ups they ripped that plan up.
3) Newman’s answer: Jason Roy!
As for the ECB, every crisis is an opportunity and it’s been obvious for some time there are some who want Buttler in the captaincy….
Roy.. why Roy.. literlaly another white ball player who won’t be up to it snd will play it like it’s middle overs in a white ball game.. Jesus.. stop picking players who aren’t any different tomwhat we have in Jennings, burns, Bairstow, Ali, buttler, Curran, Etc Etc
Two words – dire and denial.
Meanwhile the Lions are continuing their record of losing every match on their tour of India.
Not that you’d know from the UK media’s non-coverage.
Tbf, if duckett is the next best bats we have then stick to not reporting on it.. he’s dire