Want To Join The New City T20 Board? Here’s How To Apply

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Christmas might be over but here at TFT we just keep giving. In fact, we’re giving you ordinary plebs the opportunity to join (well, apply for) a position on the ECB’s shiny new T20 Board as independent directors.

Here’s the Job Description which was passed to me by one of our many rebel spies inside cricket. His identity will remain anonymous lest he get lynched by the cricketing stormtroopers.

The ECB’s new T20 Board will consist of two representatives from the counties, two ECB executives, and a whopping five independent directors. This means there’s a (very) slim chance we could sneak Maxie, Dmitri Old, Piers Morgan, Aussie Tom, and The Pub Landlord onto the board. And wouldn’t that be fun?

As you’ll see from the above link, the task of these independent directors will be to establish “a global entertainment brand”. I assume they mean something like Disney Pixar. Once established, this new cartoon network will “attract a new audience” by producing Ben Stokes cuddly toys and handing out sweets between overs.

The very future of English cricket depends on the success of the new franchises. After all, “future ECB participation programmes will be directly linked to this new competition”. A key role, therefore, must be to inspire the next Alastair Cook to bat like Aaron Finch and score flashy fifties for the Nottingham Nincompoops rather test hundreds for England.

Talking of the Nincompoops, a key responsibility of the T20 board will be to “oversee the incorporation of each new team entity”. This will surely be a breeze for regular TFT readers. We’re full of ideas here: from the Cardiff Contractors to the Manchester Mercenaries. Feel free to add your own ‘identities’ in the comments below.

The next step is to “design and finalise the player draft”. Here’s an idea: make salt of the earth Yorkies like Bresnan and Lyth play for London clubs, and well-spoken Southerners like Gubbins and Roland Jones play up in Leeds. It’s a surefire way to make the politically and ethnically diverse crowds really identify with their new artificial and soulless franchises.

At this point I know you’re all queuing up to join the white ball revolution. However, I should point out this job isn’t for everyone. It’s strictly business heavyweights only. In fact, the responsibilities are so burdensome that you’ll be required to spend at least ten days per year fulfilling the role. There are also bimonthly meetings. One wonders how you’ll find time to do anything else?

You’ll also need the innate ability “to quickly understand the strategic opportunities” the city T20 provides and offer “high-level advice”.

Now this is the easy bit. Everyone knows this is the ECB’s perfect opportunity to kill off a few first-class counties. And as for the strategic advice, I can give the ECB a pearl of wisdom right now: forget the whole stupid idea.

Happy New Year everyone!

James Morgan

24 comments

  • Reading the job description, I feel yet another example of “jobs for the boys” in the making. And I do mean “the boys” – the “girls”, having come later to cricket at the highest level, are not yet contaminated with managerialism, groupthink and don’t rock the boatmanship. Prediction – the “independent” directors will be predominately male, white, wealthy, middle-class, from “good” schools and university educated. “One of us” almost to a man. Just as everywhere else in cricket administration.

  • The rotten ECB should take a look at exactly what T20 crap is doing to Test and 1st Class cricket before they start this nonsense. “player draft”, ” new team entity” please! They can’t even talk English. How about ECB Spivs vs Loughborough Loser’s played on the dark side of the moon where no one can see it.
    If this is the game’s future we’ve had it.
    But Happy New Year to all proper cricket lovers on here.

  • I’m from the wrong sort of family I’m afraid…

    I think your Stokes Cuddly Toy needs work though. It needs to look cuddly, but it also needs to punch you in the face at the slightest provocation – for instance if you say something nasty about another toy that it’s never met before.

    Anyway, Happy New Year James and well done for another year of fantastic cricket writing, insight, analysis and ranting. I’m always amazed at your ability to churn out good copy in spite of having small children! I like to think you find a way to somehow do it on company time – if that’s not the case, I’m even more in awe (and your 2018 resolution should be to get a job in financial services, where 90% of the workforce could…)

    • Many thanks mate. I do write the blog on company time … but unfortunately it’s my company and I’m the only employee!

      I’m a freelance copywriter by trade, so I work from home and tend to do the articles when I would otherwise be commuting. The kids do make it tricky though. My Mrs has to be very patient!

      • I presumed that was the case from your site’s periphery content (maybe the old site, actually). Well I hope a bit of appreciation goes some way to making it worthwhile!

  • I’m not a big T20 fan myself but can see why some people like the slog-and-hop-it of pyjama cricket. The existing competition seems to attract good crowds and, listening on the radio this year, it sounded like the crowd were enjoying their day out on finals day at Edgbaston. So why change it ?
    I’d prefer it if the ECB prioritised raising standards in the county game, including have county matches all through the summer and not just early and late season. I’d prefer it if they ensured that at least some home test match cricket was televised on terrestial TV.
    I’d prefer it if they did everything they could to improve England’s performances abroad, rather than focussing so much on white-ball cricket…where England have only ever won just the one global tournament.
    I hate the idea that they are trying to kill off some counties.
    The phrase “blazered farts” springs to mind.

    • Indeed Alex. The current competition is making a bit of money and making people happy, but money and happiness for the wrong people – fans and counties, not the ECB’s top brass and their business mates!

      Just wanted to add my admiration and thanks for James. Excellent work and still keeping your course straight through ever-choppier waters. Good luck for 2018!

  • I wonder why cricket seems to attract so many meddlers on the administrative front. Rather than trying to make existing formats more appealing there’s this obsession with finding a better mousetrap. It’s almost as though every generation of administrators feels the need to leave some sort of legacy, however I’ll thought out. Since the international cavaliers came on the scene in the 1960’s there must have been at least half a dozen 1-day formats tried. Soccer seems to manage its affairs without resorting to many rule changes, with its 5-a-side format as a side show, as does Rugby, with only the Sevens as a different format, this having a negligible impact on the 15 a side game, as completely different players specialise.

  • So to run a franchise you have to be willing to indirectly subsidise the ECB development programme with a huge investment and the ECB can then blame the franchises as well as the counties for not producing the next generation of Ben Stokes.

    While the Clubs will continue to flounder and rely on volunteers whilst subsidising All Stars into the 2020s

  • There is just a chance that this board will drown in the deluge of its own corporate bollocks-speak. I fail to see that it has much to do with cricket so my 55+ years of following the county game would be of little of no value. Neither would my commercial experience as from time-to-time I was compelled to say ‘no’ in the face of concerted opposition. As I see it the main requirements would be
    1) to be a ‘yes’ man and if so requested, to blindly drive over the edge of a cliff
    2) the ability to thrive in a climate of lunacy and convincingly ‘deliver the message’
    3) to avoid head-butting or otherwise assaulting other board members with whom one might disagree
    4) to carry a bucket
    5) have experience of a complex and ultimately doomed and fated project (like, say, Brexit or the commissioning of
    a new aircraft carrier).
    6) to have a bolt hole.

  • Parkinson, Poylsden and Chritchley have joined up with England in the nets apparently. Quite like the look of Parkinson in an unorthodox sort of a way.

    They haven’t exactly made the groundsman’s job difficult by announcing that Crane will play.

    Also the seamers are all knackered, which isn’t really news after the number of overs they’ve bowled. Might we see more tinkering than previously thought?

  • MCC considering selling Lord’s:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/cricket/article-5226837/MCCs-plans-sell-Lords-2-5bn.html

    This could be:
    1) A negotiating ploy to leak this to wangle some concessions out of someone for something.
    2) A cover for something slightly less insane they’re planning so that when that happens he will all go “phew, well at least they haven’t sold Lord’s to developers”.
    3) It’s actually serious and part of the new “make a big fat pile before we drive the game into the ditch” ethos that seems to have overtaken the game at senior administrative levels.

      • How? Which part(s) of the story are fabricated, how do you know, and why? I’m no fan of the DM but you need to offer some explanation and evidence. Sale can be a bs-merchant but he has also broken governance stories before anyone else (like the ECB losing Investec for example).

  • Sent an enquiry yesterday, received this today:

    “Thanks for your email. Please find attached the Candidate Brief for the role.
    Please note that we are well advanced in our search process and are close to extending invitations for interview to a shortlist of candidates.
    The process of application is simply to send your CV to me with a covering letter outlining why you should be considered as a candidate.
    I look forward to receiving both.”

    I suspect a done deal.

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I'm a freelance writer and marketing copywriter based near London. Click the image to see my professional website. Thanks.

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