It’s all been a bit negative around here recently (yes, I realise it’s mostly my fault) so it’s time for a change of pace. Today we have an enjoyable guest post from cricket writer Sam Blackledge. Play it, Sam
I need help. I think cricket is taking over my life.
It has become so bad that I’m seeing everything that happens to me through the prism of the game.
I wake up ready to face a new day and peer through the curtains. Ominous clouds suggest a patchy session; bright sunshine could mean a chance to make hay.
I commute from dressing room to crease. Deep breaths, getting my head right, picturing the first delivery from my boss, angled across my desk and shaping in a fraction.
In the office, I am Nasser Hussain at Lord’s in 2004. A self-centred, driven senior player, too wrapped up in his own career crisis to enjoy being part of a young and exciting team.
I keep my head down, focus on grinding out another ugly win and occasionally let slip a grumpy expletive when something – or someone – malfunctions.
Sometimes I know it’s not my day before I even take guard. My confidence is shot, my technique is in tatters. I can’t get moving. Maybe I want it too much. Think late period Ramprakash, or poor old James Vince and his recurring cover drive.
The phone rings. I leave it alone and hope I can get off strike.
Occasionally it clicks. I’m invincible Vaughan in ’02, fearless Freddie in ’05. Pitching ideas to management, zinging one-liners to colleagues and hitting my deadlines right between the eyes. Everything is coming off the middle of the bat – I never realised the game could be this easy.
Back home I am Graeme Hick. A real trier, essentially a good guy, but prone to silly mistakes which provoke howls of exasperation in those around me.
I can almost hear the commentators now. “He’s put the washing machine on the wrong setting again.” “What a waste. So much talent.”
See what I mean? It’s getting worse.
When I was a kid I would spend hours in the back garden bowling to imaginary opponents. Walking down the street, I would turn my arm over with a Warne-esque cock of the wrist, follow through and glare at the lamppost which wasn’t good enough to edge my invisible zooter.
I thought it was just a childhood phase. I would grow out if it. Real life is more important than silly old cricket.
Anyway, must dash. My wife wants me to mow the lawn, take out the bins and hoover the staircase.
I wonder if I can claim the extra half hour?
Sam Blackledge
Hahaha!! Brilliant.. absolutely brilliant ?
Very funny and sadly very true. I’ve not played for years but still try my run up out when the mood and place takes me.
By the way I’ve just checked my desk where I work at home. Yes, I have five cricket balls there in various conditions. Never get bored of picking them up and handling them, fingers on the seam.
You should give it another go. It’s never too late. I took a 14 year break after the birth of my daughter and returned to playing at 47. I’m still playing league (2ndXI) in my 60s. A few years back I played against a 78 year old keeper in a league game (and I know he made his last appearance at 82).
Thanks Andy but sadly I was diagnosed with a sight condition a few years back which means long term I’m losing my sight (Retinitis Pigmentosa) I didn’t mention I still have my last three cricket bats in my bedroom cupboard too!
But then I played for over thirty years so I cannot complain. Happy to follow the game these days and read wonderful blogs like this one that really hit the nail on the head when it comes to the issues in the game currently.
Ah, that is tough but 30 years is admirable. With that length of career you would have fitted well into my club where the 2nds are renowned for requiring toilet breaks rather than drinks breaks and where the most common complaint on the injured list is prostate trouble :)
Every man has some story like that!
Start playing again !! You’ll be a long time retired!! Doesn’t matter the league level as that’s just for people with an ego as they’ll never be pro! Turn up, have a bowl or bat and enjoy it. Find a nice place to play where they don’t abuse someone for a superstar and have a post match beer..
If people stopped trying to be a star or all professional it’s still a very very enjoyable game to play
I know a guy who has extremely limited vision – he really can’t see anything further than about arms length away from him – but he still plays league cricket every Saturday. He bowls medium pace in a batting helmet.
If he can, why can’t you?