Stumps: England (260 and 517-1) drew with Australia (481 and 107-1)
517-1. I’ll say it again. 517-1. Five hundred and seventeen runs for one wicket. England’s score against Australia, in a live Ashes test, at the Gabba of all places. 517-1. Get it printed on a t-shirt. Have it tattooed over your heart. At work, daub it in wombat’s blood on the desk of your nearest Australian colleague.
If I ever go on Desert Island Discs, I will choose today’s play as my luxury item. It was, supremely, a day for gloating – for indulgently revelling in Australia’s misery and our own swaggering dominance. Let’s make the most of it while we can; this may not last.
At times, it was hard to believe we were watching an Ashes test match, so wretched and downtrodden were our opponents. They simply fell to pieces: in the words of Times columnist Simon Barnes, “Australia have become the new England.” From Ponting’s tantrum, to Clarke’s howler of a dropped catch, to the increasingly sloppy fielding, there were champagne moments everywhere you looked.
My personal favourite came from man-of-the-match Mitchell Johnson; it’s not often you see four wides in a test match. If you didn’t see the delivery, it was rather like Steve Harmison’s infamous first ball four years ago – but worse.
It was good to see Australia’s spectators – all seven of them – stood by their side during a difficult couple of days. Even more surreal than the scoreline was a Gabba stadium dominated by England supporters. What happened to the Aussies – do they just lose interest when their side aren’t winning easily? Don’t like it up ’em?
To switch perspective from the patriotic to the cricketing…in reality, Australia can bounce back from this disaster more easily than we might credit, especially as they look set to bring either Ryan Harris or Doug Bollinger into the side for Adelaide. It was a shame Mitchell Johnson didn’t take a few lucky wickets here and there – it might have kept him in the side.
From an England point of view, we achieved some huge psychological victories. We could so easily have crumbled to dust after the Hussey-Haddin stand. Instead, from the very moment their partnership was broken, we steadily mounted a comeback. Simply to escape defeat from a first-innings deficit of 221 is a fine achievement; to do so by grinding Australia into the ground, and proving that our batsmen can toy with their bowling, should stand us in huge stead for the rest of the series.
And in terms of the specific objective of this tour – retaining the Ashes – the maths are now simpler. Win two test matches, and we keep the urn.
But to do that we’ll need wickets – and is our bowling, on present form, any more effective than Australia’s? In this match, only Anderson looked capable of causing significant damage. It might be that neither side is good enough to take twenty wickets on pitches anything like this one. Does that mean England should reconsider playing a fifth bowler?
Thoughts, views, predictions?
Maxie Allen
