Are you ready folks? I certainly am. I’ve got my packet of Pro Plus, keg of Red Bull, and a veritable vat of coffee at the ready. If I don’t manage to stay up all night on Wednesday then it won’t be for a lack of trying. I’m really looking forward to this test match. We’ve got two evenly matched teams – although New Zealand might just have the edge in home conditions – playing at one of the most beautiful cricket venues around. It should be worth my HD...
Denied
I went to sleep with New Zealand on 91-4. I was extremely hopeful we’d be able to force a result. Anderson and Broad were bowling well, and Jack Leach was causing problems, so it was extremely disappointing to wake up and find that we’d been denied by the Kiwi tail. Credit to the Black Caps, of course, but I thought England deserved to win this game, and they would have done if the schedulers had a brain. Why oh why did they schedule all the white ball stuff, which is often played...
The Easter Sunday Sermon
It’s Easter. The time of rebirth, chocolate, and rabbit casseroles. So let’s start with the first of these three pillars of Christian civilisation … and forgive me if the flow of this post seems random and doesn’t quite work. I’ve had no sleep, I drank too much beer and wine last night, and I feel about as coherent as … a not very coherent thing. Stuart Broad is the first topic. He rose from the ashes of, erm, a dismal Ashes display to claim 6-54 in New...
When Anything But Disaster Feels Like A Triumph
The headline above sums up how I feel about day one in Christchurch. I went to sleep with England on 38-1. Vince and Stoneman were looked a little more secure, and Trent Boult was having a breather. Perhaps both batsmen would make a hundred and England would score 400? I knew I was kidding myself. Vince had played a few lovely strokes, which is always a tell tale sign he’s about to get out (actually, his mere presence at the crease is usually a sign he’s about to get out), and...
Ignominy
Ignominy has been the word of the weekend. But I’m not using it to bash the Australians today. Instead I’m using it in reference to England’s latest pathetic result away from home in test cricket: a defeat by an innings inside three days to New Zealand. I haven’t got the stat book in front of me but of our current run of form outside England must be the worst in our history: a somewhat embarrassing draw in Bangladesh, a 0-4 defeat in India, a 0-4 defeat in Australia, and...
What? How?
After long and careful consideration, I’ve decided to laugh rather than cry. England’s batting performance in the first innings at Eden Park was so farcical that it’s probably comic rather than tragic. Today was a comedy of errors … and it just about summed up the team’s miserable winter’s tale. Although I wasn’t able to stay up all night and watch the game, the analysis elsewhere seems pretty unanimous: England looked undercooked and utterly hapless...
