It was a dark, rainy night, and Sir Edward Smith was in bed. His eyes were seemingly closed and everyone else in the mansion was asleep. But when a silent notification arrived, and his phone vibrated a centimetre to the right, he quietly got up from his place. He hadn’t truly been sleeping, after all. You’ve always got to keep an eye open for new talent—or for criticism about your existing selections. He looked to his right. His partner hadn’t been disturbed. This was a relief—not because he...
10 further amendments to cricketing terminology, courtesy of the ECB
The ECB has recently drawn ire for suggesting changes to essential cricketing terminology in The Hundred. As a (satirical) spokesperson for the organisation, TFT’s Abhijato Sensarma was drafted in to defend their decision-making. Let me begin by saying … I don’t get it. “Wickets” isn’t that hard to pronounce. Sure, it’s no “over”, but neither is it the tongue-twister our misguided focus groups are making it out to be. But then, most of the criticism about this matter has been coming from...
What’s the name, again?
Today Srinivas returns with this look at some cricket’s of most unusual and memorable names. Billy Birmingham really didn’t have to look far for inspiration! Feel free to add your personal favourites in the comments … When I was a schoolboy in the 1990s, the following question was often asked in sports quizzes: which cricketer has the longest name? The answer to the question, of course, was Warnakulasuriya Patabendige Usantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas, abbreviated rather...
Root: Bairstow Scored Two Centuries In My Heart
By Our Nepotism Columnist, Steve Jobsfortheboys AHMEDEBAD, INDIA – England captain Joe Root assured reporters that he retained full faith in his best mate Jonny Bairstow ahead of the Fourth Test against India, as “he may have made two ducks in t’book, but he racked up back-to-back tons in my heart.” Bairstow, who is apparently a cricketer as well as Root’s bestest buddy since they came through the youth system together at Yorkshire, endured a torrid time in the day-night test. Having been...
Abu Dhabi Scientists Discover Formula To Distil Cricket To Purist Form
By Our Chemistry Correspondent, Alexander-Stephen Fleming. SHEIKH ZAYED CRICKET STADIUM, ABU DHABI – After four years of trial and error, courageous scientists from the United Arab Emirates finally cracked one of science’s great mysteries yesterday, as they successfully refined the sport of cricket to a single delivery per innings. “We have split the bat-om!” enthused a delighted Professor Howard Zat, dressed in a traditional garish yellow green-striped lab coat. “This discovery changes...
Night Owls: The perils of watching sport in the wee hours
Some Sunday fun from new writer Oscar Ratcliffe. I’m sure we all know exactly what he means … At that time of night, it was a killer – the sort of session you dread when gorging cricket in the wee hours. Roped in at 10pm on the promise of hard drinking and a riotous first session, your fellow passenger has nearly jumped ship. Cheteshwar Pujara blocks a rising delivery from Stuart Broad. No run. Not that he need say so. By now it’s pretty obvious. He hasn’t taken one for the last 40...