Be Unkind, Rewind: Our top ten Aussie jokes from the Ashes

The Aussies are having a bit of fun at our expense in the CB series at the moment, so let’s have a bit of fun at theirs. You might have seen a few of these before, but they’re still pretty funny second time around. Besides, there’s no harm rekindling those fond memories from December and early January. The sight of Ricky Ponting’s miserable face will be etched in my memory evermore. Enjoy folks …

1. Q. What’s the Australian version of LBW?
     A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped

2. Q: What’s the difference between an Australian fielder and a condom?
     A: one drops a catch and other catches a drop

3. Q: How should the Australian coach reshuffle the Australian batting order?
     A: Move Extras up the order

4. Q: What’s the difference between Ricky Ponting and a phoenix?

     A: After the Ashes, a phoenix still has a future

5. Q: What’s the difference between Cinderella and the Aussies?
     A: Cinderella knew when to leave the ball

6. Q: What do you call a world class Australian cricketer?
     A: Retired

7. Q: What would Tremlett be if he was Australian?

     A: An All-rounder

 8. Q: What do you call a cricket field full of Australians ?
      A: A vacant lot.

9. A bloke walks into a brothel and says “I’m a bit kinky, how much for total humiliation”

    The Madam replies “total humiliation”

   “Wow, what do I get for that?”

     She says “a baggy green cap and an Australia shirt”

10.  Mitchell Johnson

Which one’s your favourite? Let us know if there are any we’ve missed.

James Morgan



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