I’ve never understood why the Aussie national anthem is called ‘Advance Australia Fair’. From where I’m sitting, there’s absolutely nothing fair about Australia and Australians at all.
They get to bask in beautiful heat most of the year (all year in many cities), there’s sod all rainfall and the landscape is diverse and jaw-droppingly beautiful.
From the great barrier reef and dense rainforest of Queensland, to the rugged beauty of Uluru and Kakadu National Park in Northern Territory, it’s a gorgeous country.
And if you like beaches you’re in luck too: whether it’s the golden sands of Fraser Island (where you can polish jewellery in the purest sands imaginable) or the stunning scenery along Victoria’s Great Ocean Road, it’s pure heaven.
And of course, their bloody cricket team isn’t bad either. Bastards.
I’m not going to dwell too much on the specifics of today’s World Cup semi final. I thought an Australia win today was more or less a foregone conclusion: the Aussies have a fearsome fast bowling attack, and the Indian batsmen don’t really fancy the short stuff.
What’s particularly depressing is the particular Australian players that keep doing well. Steve Smith used to be a weakness – his presence in the side seemed to represent the end of Australia’s golden era (surely they had someone better than this lost looking kid?) – but now he’s a bastion of strength.
Meanwhile, we used to laugh at Mitchell Starc; he was a poor man’s Mitchell Johnson. Not any more. He’s Mitch Mach Two (and almost an improvement).
And then there’s Josh Hazlewood. He looked pretty innocuous a year ago – a medium fast Aussie version of Derek Pringle. Now he’s bowling like the next Glenn McGrath.
It must be nice to support a side where players actually improve rather than get noticeably worse as the months roll by.
Please New Zealand. Please beat this horrible lot. There’s only so much us Poms can take.
A Bitter, Desperate England Supporter.