A New Low

Let’s start with the positives. Erm. Ollie Stone looked good I suppose. And now for the negatives …

What in the name of Zeus’s pubic hair was that? I’m gobsmacked. To get bowled out for 85 in a single session is bad enough. But to get bowled out by Ireland? At home? After winning the toss? It’s completely inept and a total humiliation.

In any other era this would lead to captains being sacked, coaches being replaced, and petitions being drawn up. But in this era of the England test team, where lamentable collapses come two a penny, we’ve almost become desensitised to such calamities. People just seem to shrug their shoulders or laugh.

However, I’m not going to let them get away with it. So I repeat. We were bowled out of 85 in a single session – just 23.5 overs in fact – by Ireland. The lowest ranked test team on the planet. And we contrived to achieve this unique feat of sporting ineptitude at home after winning the toss.

I’m afraid today’s performance was absolutely pathetic and completely unacceptable for a professional cricket team. Everyone connected to the team should be thoroughly ashamed. It was possibly the worst batting performance by an England test team ever. And the statistics back this up.

There’s no doubt that Ireland were magnificent. So kudos to them. They must be over the moon and rightly so. But this wasn’t exactly Allan Donald or Wasim Akram bowling at us today.

Tim Murtagh is a very good professional bowler – as we mentioned yesterday he averages 23 this season at Lord’s – but he’s going to be 38 years old in a few days time. I suspected he might do some damage but 5-13 off 9 overs? That surpassed my worst nightmare.

And then there’s Boyd Rankin, who some people argue is the worst seam bowler to play for England in the modern era. I personally think that’s harsh, as he clearly wasn’t fit when he played down under back in 2014. However, he’s 35 years of age now and clearly not the force he once was.

And finally there’s Mark Adair. He bowled like a hero but he’s no Red Adair. He was released by Warwickshire a couple of years ago and doesn’t even have a professional contract with Ireland yet. Thank heavens Stuart Thompson had a bad day otherwise England might not have reached 50.

Although we must congratulate the Irish on an outstanding achievement – and whatever the outcome of this game they’ll be able to hold their heads high after this – we simply can’t avoid just how appalling and embarrassing England were today.

Those who have been paying attention have cringed at the way the ECB have criminally neglected first class cricket in their pursuit of World Cup glory. They could have had a good ODI team and a good test team – much like other recent winners of the World Cup – but England went all in to secure an international 50-over trophy and neglected everything else.

We can argue about whether last Sunday makes this all worthwhile – I say ‘no’ while others will say ‘yes’ – but this pitiful red ball batting line up is the price we’re sadly paying.

England’s top 3 is a joke. And those who think that Jason Roy will solve all our problems might have to think again after he was effectively dismissed twice in the space of just 11 balls for just 5 runs this morning. He looked as poor as he did in the final against New Zealand when the ball moved around.

With Ben Stokes and Jos Buttler missing, and Moeen clearly suffering a nosebleed batting at No.6, I argued yesterday that this was possibly the worst England test batting line-up of all time. And today they lived down to the hype with a performance to match.

It’s so utterly depressing. Take a couple of batsmen out of the ODI side and we still look great on paper. One could draft in Alex Hales or Dawid Malan and the side wouldn’t break step.

But our test team has no depth whatsoever – not even in the starting XI. Other than Root and Bairstow this side lacks any quality whatsoever. And I’m not sure that Jonny is even a banker anymore.

The shot Bairstow played today sums up everything wrong with English cricket. A very good player has inadvertently sacrificed his test form in order to win a World Cup winner’s medal.

Jonny wasn’t in the ODI side a year or so ago but desperately wanted in, modified his technique to help him hit the ball through the off-side, and in doing so made his defensive technique as porous as a cherokee hair tampon.

Today’s unsightly ‘drive’, which bowled him neck and crop, was the result. And they say good players don’t get clean bowled …

England’s other batsmen made very similar technical and mental mistakes – exactly what you’d expect from a team of white ball hitters in fact. They groped at balls they didn’t need to play; their feet looked stuck in molasses; they went hard at the ball when soft hands were required. And needless to say their shot selection was utterly abysmal.

Things had better improve quickly or the Ashes will be over by the end of the third test. And at this rate that might only entail eight or nine days’ cricket.

Right, I’m off to lie down in a darkened room and down a bottle of whiskey. Desperate times call for thoroughly sensible measures.

James Morgan

58 comments

  • A couple (or three) unrelated points:
    I wonder what might have happened on that pitch if Anderson had been playing and Ireland had been put in (or even if Anderson wasn’t playing……).
    It is surely madness to have a schedule that entails bowling 98 overs in a day. We rarely get to 90!
    I note that you are drowning your sorrows in the Irish version, James!

  • Bairstow! Whats the point of him as a keeper?

    He huffed and puffed all day, and when the one lad who looked like he actually gives a shit hurled the ball admittedly wide, but hard at the stumps, it went for a single and Bairstow, King Dick, glared and shook his head. What a pity young Sam didn’t glare back at him and ask “and how many runs exactly did you get today?”

    Foakes HAS to be back for the Ashes. Bairstow is probably going to open, mainly because he’s an opener. Joe Root, Jos and Stokes, then Broady, Sam and Stone. After that – who knows?

    It was a shambles, and if ever someone looked like they were only playing because Anderson wasn’t, then it was Woakes.

    One Day kings perhaps, but Test team needs a rethink.

    • On recent Test form, Foakes should be in as a batsman! The fact that he’s technically one of the best keepers around is just a bonus….

      Bairstow, Roy (I don’t rate Burns; Roy should at least have another go), Root, Buttler, Stokes, Foakes, Curran, Archer, Broad/Woakes, Leach/Ali (the latter isn’t justifying batting higher than 10 at the moment), Anderson

      All scuppered of course by Root’s refusal to bat at 3.

      • “Pick your Ashes team” on the BBC website doesn’t give Bairstow as an option for opener….

    • Umm, why Bairstow opening?? You’ve seen his dire red ball technique right ?!?!

  • Unfortunately it has to be said that although this was unexpected it comes as no shock. Following this England test squad, as with others before it, is about highs and lows, with more recent lows than highs. This kind of Mr Ed bits and pieces selection only emphasises the gulf between the red and white ball games.
    It makes you feel nostalgic for the ‘good old days’ when you won the toss, batted and were 250-5 at the end of the first day with no real alarms. I seem to remember this was quite a common scenario in the 1960’s when I first got into test cricket. There was something comforting about knowing the likes of Boycott, Edrich, Barrington, Cowdrey and Graveney would not be rolled over by anyone, even on uncovered wickets. Since then there has never been an era when we weren’t prone to collapses. Is it a coincidence that the rise of white ball cricket has coincided with this period?
    After today surely we must consider Foakes for the human Jack in a Box, Bairstow. He just doesn’t have the temperament for test cricket. Once nerves get the better of him it’s downhill all the way. Foakes is not only on a different planet as keeper, but has proved I think, a more effective test batsman.

  • Sorry but Jonny Bairstow is one of the most overrated test match batsmen for England I can ever remember. The amount of times he is bowled trying to smash it back down the ground is just not acceptable for all the plaudits he receives. His test record will only ever be mid 30s because of this, he will never be in the top bracket of batsmen in the world and wouldn’t have got anywhere near Strauss’s best side

    As for the team itself, if you just exclusively read Alastair Cook’s comments on the game, you’d think England had Ireland right where they wanted them. I don’t even care anymore when England are completely wiped out within a single session because the players don’t seem to care, but this test side for many years now has been so far short of what should be expected of a test side and there is no sign of it improving. Nobody coming in seems to go on, and expectations are so low now, a gritty score of 80 is hyped up like they just hit 180 across 2 days

    • to put this into a bit of context –
      Bairstow 60 tests, 6 centuries, avg 36. “Wonderful players is Jonny, very attacking” pundits all agree he is a permanent fixture

      Ian Bell 122 tests, 22 centuries, avg 42 “Bottler, out of his depth, will never be good enough” pundits often highlight him as a weakness in England’s batting

      • Ian Bell was part of a far better batting line up than the current team. I almost expected us to be 36 for 3. At the moment the entire batting line up bats like Ian Bell on a bad day. Couple of nice shots then a sloppy dismissal.

        • Bell was also lauded for a year or two as our best batsman by many pundits. He clearly was out of his depth in 2005, when replacing Thorpe and this took him a few years to get over.
          He had the same problem as Gatting, another smallish man, getting caught on the crease a lot playing half cock. You have to be decisive about going forward or back in test cricket.
          Totally agree about Bairstow. Wouldn’t be in the test team for me, doesn’t have the temperament or technique for it. Foakes is a proper keeper and for me a better bet as a batsman, but with the dynamic duo of Bayliss and Smith in charge, does he have a realistic chance of selection?

          • Why are you repeating that Bell replaced Thorpe? When it has been documented often enough that Thorpe was replaced by Pietersen? This is a knowledgeable forum not a trolling camp repeating the lies and prejudice of the past that has to be challenged all the time to keep facts as facts. When Bell was dropped for Shah followed by Bopara by Flower in 2009 Bell had a Test average of 40. First Shah and then Bopara were quickly found out. Fact. You can try to rubbish a career. But inconvenient truth will challenge you. But in a period of fake news it’s more easy to fake a career.

            • What are you getting so hot under the collar about. Does it really matter who was replaced by Bell. Thorpe was injured at the start of the 2005 Ashes, but never regained his place, despite Bell’s poor form during that series. Pieterson on the other hand deserved to keep his place on performance. I was merely repeating was has been said subsequently by the likes of Hussein and Atherton, whom I assume have some inside knowledge.
              The fact remains he was clearly out of his depth early on, which clearly took him time to get over. Once he had done this he became a fine batsman and for a time was regarded as our best. I’m a Warwickshireman and a big fan of his.
              And where do get the idea this is a knowledgable forum. Like most blogs it’s full of prejudice, hence the anti white ball tracts littering very page.

              • Thorpe wasn’t injured. He was fully fit and played against Bangladesh in the tests before the Ashes. In fact, he’d even had a precautionary cortisone injection to see him through the series. The problem was that Duncan Fletcher became completely besotted with the idea of Bell, and inked him in as a certainty at No.4. The choice therefore came down to Thorpe or Pietersen at 5. Of course, it should have been both Thorpe and Pietersen in the side, with Bell as first reserve. Luckily the mistake didn’t cost England in the end.

        • It’s absolutely extraordinary that there is a cheap jeer at Ian Bell. Some things don’t change. I watched just the other day his immaculate 53 on a green pitch at Edgbaston in the Ashes against the Aussie bowling attack. Low scoring game but Bell taken to task for not getting a century. He came in early and had 10 boundaries for his 50. That’s class. The like of which has been missing in all his replacements. He did the same in the second innings with not out and won us the game. I can tell you that the likes of the anti Bell sneering brigade had all the players lined up and put forward to replace him. None of them have made their mark. Flower wanted his Lions hopefuls to take over. Never happened. He should be sacked, Bell should have been rested at aged 33 for a Series and supported as a Test batsman. But they thought they were two a penny. The same kind of attitude puts Bell’s name alongside the batting on show today. He was one of a better team? One of the few to get 3 centuries in an Ashes Series where other batsmen failed. He was also the leading batsman in the year England went to No1. Through all the turmoil he didn’t break down during the terrible pressures under Flower’s final months. Bell the “bottler”? But trolls had a field day before we realised the dark side of social media. Well it was the wrong decision to drop him. And the so called perfectionists were to witness the low averages of all those who took a bat to replace him. Where were their better days?

        • Conversely I see this as a good day for cricket. I went along with my father and brother. Tickets were 50 quid so I could afford it. The ground was almost full. Lord’s did a huge amount to keep everyone well watered. The Irish support was outstanding and the Irish players got a big welcome, especially Murtagh with genuine admiration and a standing ovation. It stuck two fingers up at the ECB who along with ICC sidelined Ireland from the World Cup. Thank you Ireland for your efforts and well done.

    • This.

      This team is full of over rated and over hyped players

      Bairstow is a shockingly over rated test player, who is getting worse and worse the more white ball his technique has become.. way too attacking and leaves a gate the size of Troy every time

    • It is one of the most frustrating things about this England ‘closed shop’ mentality, where any criticism seems to be brushed aside as negativity. No one watching today’s debacle can be blind to the problems facing selectors as white ball batting techniques continue to sabotage test efforts. Players trying to play shots on the up right from the off, Denly being a classic example, going hard at the ball, so all edges carry and playing accross the line were all repeatedly in evidence against no more than decent county standard bowling on a typical Lords test pitch. It’s not rocket science that if the ball is seaming you need to let it come to you and play it off the pitch. Root is the only batsman we have who seems capable of playing this way, and even he is affected by white ball shot happy impatience when runs dry up.
      In test cricket you don’t need to score at 4 an over, 2-3 is fine on a typical Lords 1st dayer. The object of the first innings is surely to build a platform of strength, not a runaway total. It’s a philosophy Bayliss and Smith have no appreciation of and the players seem to be taken in by it. Considering they have Thorpe as a batting coach it seems odd players are showing no signs of learning these hard lessons and reviewing their technique. After all Root won the toss and chose to bat, though Ireland would have bowled had they won it, hardly surprising against that very thin batting line up.

  • For quite a long time now I’ve been disagreeing with those who say that we can follow the ECB route of white ball preoccupation yet still maintain a Test side. We can’t. We have nowhere within our system to produce Test cricketers – especially batsmen- and that showed today. It showed in the selection. We lack an international 1, 2, 3 & 5. We have done for a long time and there’s no sign of it changing. There’s no mechanism by which it can. By concentrating almost solely on white ball – to the point of appointing a coach whose indifference to red ball cricket is palpable – they have sacrificed Test cricket. Shame on them.

    • The counties and minor counties and amateur leagues are also set up to destroy batting and bowling. Where is anyone going to learn to want to become a top order batter….

      Most counties simply employ white balll players and turn them out in red ball but as everyone does it people are too stupid to realise.. glos, Northants , Worcester Etc Etc

      • Don’t even know what the solution is. Young up and coming players will be focused on big hitting and aggressive play. People seem to have forgotten why batsmen were cautious in the first place. In ODI’s you can get away with swinging for 10 overs as there should always be enough batting down the order, but in test matches it’s getting criminal how so much time is being left in the game because batsmen don’t value their own wicket and aren’t up for the fight and make the bowler earn their wicket.

        How many low scoring records have we seen broken in the last 5 years that have stood for 70-80 years? Yesterday was England’s shortest EVER 1st innings at home, but it doesn’t even register as an issue. The shortest ever 1st innings in English cricket history! At home to Ireland on a warm sunny day.

    • To be fair India can do it (from a larger talent pool). Pujara gets nowhere near the ODI team but he’s a cornerstone of the test team.

  • Pathetic stuff today. Batting has been a concern for a long time. They continue to make the same mistakes and haven’t learnt anything. Bairstow lacked concentration, supported with the fact the umpires weren’t happy with were he was standing. The mystery of Moeen’s lack of form with the bat and now the ball is a concern.

    Whilst you can question whether this game should have been played so soon after the WC final there is no excuse for how the batted.

    Whilst the bowlers fought back after tea, it took them a session to get it right… did they not watch how Ireland bowled?

    • I’ve been told to move back at amateur level so should Bairstow. Fair play to umpires for enforcing the laws.

  • Well not much I can add to England’s “performance” that’s not already been said. Just watched the highlights and Murtaghs bowling was as good as anything Anderson has produced, and that’s high compliment. Seam bowling at its best, putting it on a sixpence, perfect length, just a little movement. Wow. Should be put in the coaching manual. Reminded me of the great Martin Bicknell. Stone was ok, but the rest of England bowling poor, very poor actually.
    James you’re right, 4 years concentrating only on red ball cricket has produced flat track through the line hitters. This lot simply are not very good outside of the one day arena. I wouldn’t have Bairstow in the side, crap keeper and seems to get bowled every time. More a number 7 than a 5, but we’ve got about 6 number 7s. England should still win this, but I hope they don’t because they simply do not deserve to. But the damage is done isn’t it.

    • If anyone Murtagh reminded me of Mohammed Asif of Pakistan (without the “indiscretions”). No great pace but total control of line length and swing. Abysmal as England were you have to give Ireland credit for their performance.

  • It was a day when the scrambled seam worked better than the straight up seam. England, trying to overcome another slow and seam friendly wicket at Lord’s, came at the ball to generate pace and missed (or nicked) it because of the random movement that the scrambled seam produces. We saw de Grandhomme do it 10 days ago, just three strips down the hill from this one.

    England batsmen too busy rushing to get their pads on as the the wickets tumbled failed to adapt and to play late and patiently.

    Ditto their bowlers who tried for swing and/or tried to hit the edge of the seam.

    It was the opposite of smart cricket.

  • It is a good job for the authorities that Jimmy Anderson isn’t playing today because I suspect Ireland would have been out for a low score and half the England team would be out in the 2nd innings and the match would be over tomorrow. England’s batting today was shambolic but hardly surprising. The top 3 are a joke and Bairstow’s batting is beyond parody.
    I bet the Aussie pacemen can’t wait to rip thru this pathetic shower.

  • England have no number 1/2/3/5 batsmen.. anywhere…

    We have a shed load of 7’s tho.. literally shed loads

    Buttler, Bairstow, Stokes, Woakes are all bloody good 7”# but not one is actually a test top six batter. The fact people and media hype them up as test quality just shows how poor this team is and by extension, the quality of cricketer the system and counties are producing

    Said it plenty of times and get shouted down that Bairstow is a opener or 3, stokes is world class and 5 etc etc

  • Well I travelled from Montenegro to get to the 1st day and only arrived at 4.30 but still saw 6 Ireland wickets. I just watched the hilites on tv and can say that all the England team were out to pretty good balls mostly bowled at a fullish length but it must also have been a ‘state of mind’ which can only be the responsibility of the England management and captaincy! BUT where were the England batsmen’s defences?? They all need to go back to school! AND which selection genius picked two ‘offers’ (+Root?) AND did anyone else notice the schoolboy field placings and having Ali at a fine 3rd man position directly behind 2nd slip???

  • The real worry is that the Aussies will be watching and making notes. I really think it is folly to open with Jason Roy because of his batting in white ball cricket where he had been expected and groomed to bat fearlessly. He has to develop a good defensive technique, because if we have humidity we will have a moving ball with three or four slips waiting. Wickets in England with days of sun and some thunder around could play havoc. I don’t know what has happened to Bairstow but he has lost the solidity to his batting which came from
    hard work. Are they all auditioning for The Hundred???

    • I think Roy will score runs in test cricket on flat batting wickets but the evidence so far suggests he’s a long way short of being a bonafide test cricketer. I can’t believe they sent out Leach as a nightwatchman for one over at the end of the day. Really worrying.

      Although he doesn’t have a lot to choose from, and may be keeping his real views private, one of the big problems is Ed Smith’s insistence that white ball form is immediately transferable to the test arena. He seems to think that temperament is just as important as technique. Jos Buttler’s name is used as indisputable evidence of this. However, Buttler is a bit of a freak. He has insane hand-eye coordination and is clearly an exception to the rule rather than the other way around. Is Roy as talented as Buttler? I’d suggest not. It might be close, but there’s nowhere to hide when you’re opening in test cricket. A middle-order player has more chance of getting away with it.

      • A worrying thing was the post match interview with a strangely subdued Murtagh, who clearly couldn’t believe what had just happened. After years of bowling on similar Lords tracks and picking up wickets at a good enough rate, there was little evidence in that interview he thought he’d bowled much differently from normal, yet he returned record figures. Dumbstruck is my view of his state, with emphasis on the dumb as far as our ‘rabbits in the headlights’ white ballers went.
        Strauss needs to get his act in gear fast to check this decline before it becomes terminal. It’s clearly a question of technique and not rocket science. I can’t see why players can’t adapt to conditions. They are professionals who spend hours each week in the nets working on things like this.
        The alternative is the decline and fall of the red ball game as it morphs into ‘pink’.

  • Firstly, all credit to the Irish for some fine bowling appropriate for the conditions. Half the England team looked as if they would rather have been elsewhere – indeed I wish they had been.

    I know a little about following a team which is pretty decent at white ball stuff and utterly hopeless in the longer form – it’s called Worcester and I can assure you that in short form in no way alleviates failure in real cricket. I’m inclined to blame our new PM, under whom our performance at cricket is likely to be a minor worry.

  • I just hope this is not going to be another Ashes where the wicket, weather and winning the toss determines the outcome of the game. Two or even three day contests do nothing for the future of Test matches.

  • However much this was a complete shambles I wouldn’t write off the team until we’ve batted again. A terrible day out of our system and hopefully we’re not out of the match yet.

    Murtagh is old, yes, 75mph, yes. County journey man, certainly not. He has 800 first class wickets, 2nd only to Jimmy Anderson amongst those currently playing and has bowled more overs at Lords than anyone else currently operating in world cricket.

    England’s batsman played him particularly poorly and looked at best rusty but it did feel like the perfect storm had gathered in his favour.

    Hopefully we can get the Irish bowlers into their 3rd/4th spells and toil away in the heat and set them tricky chase.

  • I think the authorities should have a good look at the Lords wickets – I really don’t think that now they are suitable for test match cricket.
    And incidentally perhaps for the Lords Ashes test match the selectors should fight fire with fire and select the king of the dibbly dobbers for that one game – Darren Stevens!

  • I completely agree about Bairstow: he gets bowled far too often to be considered a top 6 batsman. As for opening? Do me a favour! He also seems to leave an inordinate number of nicks to sail in-between him and 1st slip.

    Agree, also about Roy; like Malan, he’ll probably prosper in Australian conditions but not in England.

    It’s probably the right call to remove the captaincy from Root and politely request that he bat at 3 – a poor Ashes campaign combined with the impending change of coach may see this happen regardless. Yes, it risks weakening one of the few strengths in the batting line up but if he can be persuaded to exercise some self-control, it might help to stem the flow of wickets a touch.

    Ali has to go, for now. If Leach is given a run in the side, this may lead to Buttler having to keep wicket – I guess that depends on how many all-rounders make the XI: Stokes, Woakes, Curran?

    The problem, of course, is who’s captain? Who are the openers? Who bats at 4?

    I strongly suspect we’re in for an uncomfortable Ashes series.

    • I would like to see Foakes in the team. Not only because his keeping would be an upgrade, but also because he’s a better batsman than Denly and many of the other so called specialists we’ve tried.

      • I think, like most England set ups of recent years, it’s a ‘face fits’ regime. Foakes seems like a no brainer as keeper and batsman. Whenever he’s been tried his performances impress, yet we still persevere with ‘the usual suspects’. Bringing back the same failures is a symptom of this, as though somehow they’ll miraculously discover their mantra and triumph against the odds.
        As you say, their constant example, Butler, is a freak of nature, the best natural timer of a ball I’ve seen since Gower appeared on the scene, with the same effortless hand eye. I’d stick with Roy, if only for the impressive way he dealt with the new ball bowling of Stark during the World Cup, letting the ball come onto him and playing it late rather than reaching for it as he usually does. This shows technique can be taught, it’s more a question of judgement in applying it. One ball at a time with no pre-determined intentions. After all, as an opener in test cricket you’re the foundations of an innings, not the director. Can Roy adjust to that, if only for a couple of hours. It will be interesting.

      • I don’t disagree at all, but it comes down to who, of the bowling options can be comfortably left out? If (and it is an if) Anderson and Broad are inked in, and Leach is the sole spinner, that’s your 9,10 and 11 sorted (although, maybe Leach is staking a claim for an openers spot!) Root is 3 or 4, Stokes is presumably at 5, with Buttler at 6. That leaves no.s 7 and 8 for two of: Foakes, Curran, Stone, Woakes, Wood, Archer, et al.

        With Root at 3, Foakes, Buttler or Stokes have to bat at 4. Whoever does that can’t also be keeper. It’s a tricky old one!

        • I don’t see Foakes as more than a number 6 or 7 for England, depending on where Root bats. If he could be persuaded to bat at 3 it would help address this interminable top 3 problem and create a space down the order for an extra bowler. Personally, I’d play Foakes instead of Bairstow, who needs to sought out his defence before he can be trusted with a test place.
          That way Woakes, Broad and Anderson can all be fitted in with a spinner and a.n.other.
          Very disappointed with Birns so far, looks out of sorts confidence wise to me. This puts pressure on Roy to keep the scoreboard moving, which given his penchance for hitting is asking for trouble.

          • We already have a load of 6/7’s in buttler, Stokes, Bairstow, Roy…

            Problem is we have no 1/2/3/5

  • Sick of hearing “There’s so much talent in that batting line-up” – these blokes have 40+ tests each under their belt and have mediocre averages to show for it. Who cares how stylishly they can whack a ball

    • They are world class !!!

      Stokes.. world class
      Bairstow .. world class…
      Buttler.. world class…

      Dunno what you mean …

      You’re right, all the above are white ball players and so 6/7’s in test cricket.. nothing higher..

  • If my maths is correct, Jack Leach only scored EIGHT less runs in his second innings (92), than Burns, Denly, Root, Bairstow, Ali and Woakes scored in BOTH!!!

    Worrying doesn’t even start to cover it.

    Perhaps the six of them were trying to show some misguided support for the ECB’s latest scheme by mirroring their combined runs with the name of the next great competition to grace our shores…?

    • Well yes Leach showed them how to play in a Test, take every ball on it’s merit, patience, straight bat. Pity none of them took any notice. Not sure if Burns will survive for the Ashes, and any half decent county cricketer has to be better than Moen and Bairstow. And for those who don’t think Sam Curran is good enough…….really? Has to play in my view.

      • Curran isn’t good enough. Dilly dobber and a hitter. Bits and pieces white ball player. We literally don’t need anymore of those.

        • He’s a much better ” dibbly dobbler” than Moen, and if he’s not good enough what about Denley, Burns and Bairstow? And he brings that much needed youthful enthusiasm into the team. Oh he has largely contributed in winning a couple of tests for England as well.

          • There’s certainly something about Curran, despite his bowling inadequacies. If he could add an extra yard of pace it would help his cause. It would be Interesting to talk to the other players about him, as he seems to have a remarkably confident mentality for one so young. Time and again he comes in and makes a difference with the bat under pressure, but that’s not primatily why’s he’s in the side. He may have got a couple of wickets in this game, but one was with a long hop on a pitch crying out for bowlers to pitch the ball up.

            • Not sure what a ‘Dilly Dobbler’ is, but he was our best player last summer and looks completely at home on the test stage.

              I don’t understand our obsession with pace, especially the day after a chap got 5-13 bowling 75mph and our all time leading wicket taker bowls around 80mph.

              Archer has to play if fit, yes but 90mph + bowlers can only bowl in bursts and we certainly don’t need 5 of them. A balanced pace attack including pace, seam and swing and a left armer would be a bonus, is the way forward.

              • Humm.. Curran in Australia…. sa … SL.. India… .. absolute cannon fodder unless it’s a green top..

                He’s yet another bits and pieces player.. probably the third in line all rounder maybe but that need stokes and Woakes to be injured first

  • I’n not a huge fan of Currans but he has the very useful ability to fight his way out of a corner. He seems to have acquired all the confidence that has deserted some other players in the team. He might just get under the skin of a few Aussies if selected.

  • What was that? Even in almost perfect seam bowling conditions and with both sides batting poorly 40 wickets in a shade over 2 days begs the question: was this pitch suitable for Test cricket? We either get flat tracks or pitches that you have trouble batting on, Lords being a good example. What happened to an even contest between bat and ball? And it hasn’t told us anything we didn’t know about England’s Test problems.

    • The wicket was fine. The batting however on both sides was awful. Leech was the only player to apply himself, show discipline and bat time.. the rest after a few dots are trying to ‘put pressure on the bowler’ or ‘be positive’ and get out.

      Pitch was fine

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