Is there life after cricket?

What next? Imran Khan is trying to change the world; Eddie Hemmings runs a village shop

As we’re effectively in limbo at the moment (just waiting for the final test to begin) we thought we’d look at life after cricket.

This is something that’s been on my mind lately. I’ve had a wrist injury since January, wasn’t able to play at all this year, and I’m facing an all important MRI scan tonight. It’s possible I’ll never be able to play cricket again – in which case, what am I going to do at weekends?

Perhaps I can take inspiration from the following former cricketers, all of whom found a new passion when their bodies could no longer tolerate the rigours of standing around in a field all day.

Andrew Flintoff (Boxing) – It’s no secret what Freddie’s been up to recently. After reportedly suffering ‘what the hell do I do with myself now I’m too crocked to win the Ashes’ syndrome, Freddy decided to channel his frustrations into something highly healthy and constructive: beating the living hell out of another human being. Did you see his first fight as a boxer? He looked ok, but let’s hope he never does it again. We wouldn’t want one of our favourite sons to get hurt.

Shane Warne (Poker) – Life dealt Shane a mixed bag. He was blessed with magical bowling prowess, but also a penchant for burgers and text messaging. However, Shane has never let his disabilities get in the way of having a good time. Despite his ageing physique and his inability to bowl the variations of old, he’s still playing T20 and looks younger and slimmer than ever. What’s more, he promises he’s never had plastic surgery. Nobody thought you had Shane, honest.

As Warney’s biggest skill has always been playing the hand life’s dealt him, it’s no wonder he now plays professional poker. He also represents 888, an online gambling site, alongside UFC star Georges-St-Pierre. I wonder if they play strip poker together? And does Liz Hurley know (or join in?)

Adam Hollioake (Cage Fighting) – Last time I wrote something about Adam Hollioake and Cage Fighting I received my first ever piece of hate mail. My crime was criticising the mentality of people who love this barbaric sport; I might have suggested they were rednecks. I was told in no uncertain terms that I was a ‘big ****’ because Cage Fighting fans are actually ‘the nicest people you’d ever want to meet’. I wonder if all nice people swear and send hate mail?

However I digress. For someone with Hollioakes competitive instincts and fearlessness, Cage Fighting seems like a good fit. I wonder what might be an ideal fit for me if the worst happens and I’m unable to wield a cricket bat again? A career in diplomacy perhaps?

Jack Russell (Football) – We all know about Robert’s love of art, but I’m going to talk about his other love: goalkeeping. After he finished playing county cricket, Jack enjoyed a spell as goalkeeping coach at the mighty Forest Green Rovers – the Midland’s biggest football club other than AstonVilla (that should annoy some West Brom and Blues fans). I wonder if Joe Hart will consider a career as a wicketkeeping coach after football?

Imran Khan (Politics) – Good old Imran, the man famous for cracking one through the covers, is now a highly successful and rather controversial politician in Pakistan. His party, Pakistan’s Tehreek-e-Insaf, is committed to ending corruption – which seems like rather a naive aim for a bunch of politicians, but what do I know. Imran’s career is going so well that his photo currently adorns the front cover of Time magazine. He must be the first cricketer Americans have ever heard of.

Lance Cairns (Packing Confectionery) – No sniggering at the back please – the fudge business is a very serious, bona fide industry. Besides, Cairns Fudge is no more. It was closed by Chris Cairns in 2007. However, its memory lives on in the form of a new English amateur club, who called themselves Cairns Fudge because they couldn’t think of anything else at the time (and because it’s quite funny). They currently play in an Oxford Cricket Association league.

Eddie Hemmings (Shopkeeper) – We loved Eddie Hemmings. He probably wouldn’t get to play professional cricket today because he looked about as fit as Ricky Tomlinson. However, he’s one of those enduring characters who achieved cult status. He could bowl at bit too – and he once made 95 with the bat as nightwatchman.

It doesn’t seem quite right that a man of his skill should now be running a village shop. It used to be a post office too, but the powers that be closed it down. Shouldn’t Eddie be Prime Minister or something? The campaign starts here …

So there we have it: inspiration for all us amateur cricketers. When we hang up our cricket boots it’s not the end – it’s just the beginning. Can you think of any other ex-cricketers who now enjoy interesting careers (or unsuitably dull ones)?

And what will you do when you’re too knackered, or lazy, to play anymore? Surrendering to the drudgery of family life isn’t good enough for us alpha males. No. We’ll set our sights high, dream the seemingly impossible dream – but probably settle for weekends in the pub.

James Morgan