Help me somebody help me. I wonder where I am
These are the opening lyrics of the cult New Order song Everything’s Gone Green. One can imagine Andrew Strauss singing them on the Edgbaston balcony. After the shellacking at Lord’s, England seem lost and confused. The new plan? Vote Strauss: Go Green.
If you look at the video above, you’ll see that the Edgbaston pitch is looking rather grassy at the moment. Amazingly enough Cannabis lights have been donated by the police to hasten growth (bizarre but true), and most people seem to be expecting a result wicket.
Whether this transpires or not is uncertain of course. As Mitchell Starc mentions in the clip, the grass could well disappear in the morning. However, most people sense that a change in England’s approach is imminent.
Pre-series, most people surmised that England’s best chance of beating Australia was to prepare slow pitches that nullified Mitch and Mitch. Cardiff seemed to provide a successful blueprint.
However, Lord’s seems to have changed everything. If Gary Barwell does indeed produce something with a bit of life, it would be a bigger strategic u-turn than recalling Compton, Carberry and Pietersen at the same time.
The Lord’s pitch offered diddly squat for England’s seamers, but let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater by preparing surfaces that get Johnson’s moustache bristling. What England need is a slow seamer as opposed to a slow featherbed.
Of course we’ll just have to wait and see what happens. Although Edgbaston used to have a reputation for ‘doing a bit’, the recent renovation work apparently helps the wind to dry out the surface. There’s also a new sand based outfield, which helps spin and reverse swing more than conventional movement. Jeetan Patel takes wickets for fun in Birmingham.
The weather, however, has not helped matters. The pitch has been sweating under the covers all week, and the cannabis lights must be there for a reason. Perhaps we can expect a belated call-up for former Warwickshire favourite David Hemp?
Feel free to add your comments as play progresses on day one.
James Morgan
@DoctorCopy
Don’t you find this quest for the perfect pitch that will suit you while blunting the opposition a bit poor? I can’t remember this being the case in England until 2013 (perhaps my memory fails me). Before that it seems we just got typical English wickets generally.
I mean home pitches are meant to be good for the home team because that is what you are used to playing on. When you come to Aus you will get bouncy pitches that favor Australia to be sure, although there will be variations across the country (continent) along with varying climate, but that is what the domestic games are generally played on also. Am I blind to it or do you think Australia does this also?
India always plays Aus on slow turners but then that is their characteristic wicket so I don’t have any complaints (ok a couple of grumbles but no real complaint).
I think I am becoming in favour of the idea that we do away with the toss and the side always gets to choose whether to bat first, to encourage fairer wicket creation. Risk is though that such pitches may not last 5 days as they would always have a bit for the bowlers to make “bat first” not an easy decision.
That should be “we do away with the toss and the AWAY side always gets to choose whether to bat first”
I’m in two minds about this whole debate to be honest. I don’t see a problem with home advantage, but I find England’s quest to find the perfect surface in this series a little on the desperate side. I do know, however, that pitches in England do tend to be a little dry and slower than the use to be because of the new draining systems at grounds. Having said that, pitches seem to be getting slower in other parts of the world too. Windies pitches are a great example.
“a little on the desperate side”
And a little on the futile side, too.
I agree that this whole idea of creating the perfect pitch for you is weird
Years ago I set an IT exam for a L6 (16+) set. One of the questions referred to fonts, and asked “what is meant by fixed pitch?”
One bright spark answered “The West Indies are playing at home”.
I think it’s a disappointment, to see from a viewers perspective finding that these pitches are being almost ‘genetically modified’ to suit bowlers who excel in playing on traditional English pitches. Why cant we lay out an English deck and have a crack at the Aussies with the home field advantage that we possess and not make the Australians at home with a deck that both teams spend two days working out how to play ( the case at lords ).
Frankly I think that the fact that the pitch and its suitability to England’s players is getting a lot of media attention says a lot about the state of the English team.
A good, confident team would just turn up and play on the surface provided and adjust their tactics to suit. I’m pretty sure that when England beat India in India that the Indian groundkeepers were not tailoring their pitches to make life easy for the tourists. England won anyway.
If England can’t win without the help of the grass, there is still a long way to go before it can be called a properly “good” team again.
Amusingly, Scyld Berry tells us in today’s Telegraph that “no.4 has never suited Bell”… who apparently is “not Kevin Pietersen”.
Strange that it’s taken him quite so long to share that analysis with the rest of us.
He’ll write an article soon that England need “a new Kevin Pietersen” in which he considers every possibility – except Kevin Pietersen. Nasser Hussain has already done this.
Or perhaps a piece where he claims Kevin Pietersen was “not Kevin Pietersen”…..
Yes – though it wasn’t so much a comment on Berry, as noting the new line which the usual journalistic suspects are regurgitating.
Funny how, up until now, they’ve been telling us for a long time that Bell should stay at 4 because that’s where he scores the most runs…
My fear is that a surface with a bit of life will simply create a shoot out. And most people realise that the Aussies have more firepower than us, so I’m not sure what the logic is really.
However, maybe we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s see how the pitch plays first.
The result of a shootout relies on luck and occasional moments of brilliance more than a high scoring game and equalised two unequal sides. Its our best chance.
The exaggerated importance being attached to the toss is driving me up the wall. You’d think we could all go home after watching two men flip a coin – because how the teams then play seems irrelevant.
England’s last ten Tests at Edgbaston are P6 D3 L1. On those occasions, England’s toss record was W5 L5. In the four Tests they didn’t win, they won the toss twice (including the defeat) and lost the toss twice.
So once the pitchmaker theory fails will KP get a look in then say for 4th or 5 th test
Somehow I think Strauss would rather eat the sweepings from the Lords pitch than sanction that.
Good bowling by England although on a much more helpful pitch. Clark is badly out of form that was a pretty straight ball he missed.
The pitch looks to be a good one to be fair something for everyone might spin later on also. If Australia can get to 300 I think I would back the Aus attack to get them a first innings lead.
Ok make that if they make 120 then they’ll back themselves to not have too big a deficit….
You’re keen.
I try to stay positive.
WHIPLASH WARNING….
With England well on top on the first day of the Third Test, the pendulum could swing back to giddy optimism at dangerous velocity.
Doubt it – we’ve been burned too many times.
What’s becoming clear is that these are two rather brittle teams playing each other.
Both are capable of excellent cricket – and equally capable of collapsing like wet paper bags.
Isn’t the objective to draw wildly exaggerated conclusions based only on the most recent result?
You’re right.
We’re going to murder the bums.
4:1
:-)
Well so much for my theory. England bowled brilliantly but Australia didn’t exploit the conditions anywhere near as well! I’ll take it ;-)
Yay. England are awesome again!
Let’s hope Australia don’t somehow recover to win the fourth Test, in which case all hope will be abandoned. Again.